I tried to call a girlfriend on Monday. She answered, but was in a meeting. She whispered that she would call back when she was finished. That was two days ago.
I have called her before and she says she will call back. I believe her every time.
A couple of months ago we had a misunderstanding. It was worked out - very well, I thought.There was understanding and apologies. Just the way that adults work out problems. The end.
I mean the end of the misunderstanding, not the end of the friendship that we had built up.
As Americans we tend to throw away things that are imperfect, that need a little work. We want new and perfection. No wonder we are never happy.
When did relationships become disposable?
When I think back over the past months since our little tif, I have tried to call my dear friend. Most of the time I would get a machine. She was someone that used to promptly call back. Now that I think of it, she rarely called back.
There is a time to let things go, but it is so hard. I guess I don't understand disposing of people. But it is time to let go because she must not have been attached to me the same as I was attached to our friendship. That is a hard realization.
I appreciate my friends that disagree, get annoyed, then love just the same. That is real life. Each disagreement is merely a chance to learn to communicate and learn how to work out conflict. What a gift!
Working out problems only makes you stronger; makes relationships tighter.
But there is a time to let go and let people walk away. That day for me is today.
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4 comments:
Hi Sandy - I appreciate your post today and unfortunately can relate very well since having a similar situation about a year ago. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes people are just in our lives for a season. I have grieved the loss of someone who was once a dear friend and prayer partner and release them to our Lord for healing. I have come to know a peace in this relationship fatality, knowing that at this time I have done all that I know to do in bringing about reconcilation.
Blessings to you.
Donna Smith
Thanks for the post, Sandy!
I recently have had to let go of a 17 year friendship. What I have come to believe is that we have served our purpose in each other's lives and that now it is time to move on. I still love my friend, and, I choose not to have a relationship with her anymore because I believe it is no longer in our best and highest good.
Good news is: I do have a friendship that is only a few years old that was quite like the one you described. She was quite hard to pin down to spend time with and such, but we stuck it out and now our friendship has become as important to her as it is to me.
You are very right about our throw-away society. I believe, however, that it is equally important to understand when it is time to walk away.
Bless you, my friend, for your insight and courage.
You know my story. I got thrown away by an entire church once after loving them for 23 years. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I still haven't gotten over it. Because it cost all of my deepest friendships ... those I was accountable to and who were accountable to me. Those whom I won to Jesus, baptized, and discipled. And then I became ... disposable.
I'm still not sure how you get past that kind of thing. People are NEVER disposable. And when you have to start over you realize two things. You realize just how precious those kinds of friendships are. And you realize that you aren't sure you can ever count on them again. And you are not sure it's worth it. Maybe it's "a ministry thing."
It's a very lonely and very painful place. I recommend you run from it.
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