When the door of a friendship closes it often slams shut with such a loud bang!!
Some people are okay with that, but I have a hard time having people close doors loudly in my life.
I was not really aware of that until recently when a dear friend of mine and I had a disagreement. It ended in a way that caught me off-guard...I think it shook up both of us. When he walked out of my house that sunny day and the door closed, I felt all alone in that house, in this world. Just for a moment.
The ending of the friendship as we knew it was right on time, but the manner in which it ended made me feel sad. I don't like slammed doors in my life, and on my heart.
I ran into this friend unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. I boldly walked over to him, greeted him and we exchanged small talk. Then I sat down on a stool by him and talked about the elephant in the room. I made a joke about it, and we both laughed. He joked and we started talking. We agreed that we could be acquaintances and then the flow of conversation began again.
At the end of the evening we were both approaching the door at the same time and my girlfriend Lane was conveniently ahead of us, and with familiarity and ease he draped his arm over my shoulder as we walked to the parking lot.
We hugged, both echoing how nice it was to see each other, and headed to our vehicles.
The door that had been slammed? It was reopened and shut lightly, and a window was opened.
On the way home as I thought about the evening I realized that when doors close I want them shut quietly, and then I want a window opened. That way when I see the person who closed the door, or that I gently closed on them, we can still look through that open window and wave to each other. Or maybe even hang on the window sill and share a few words or a laugh. And when we walk away and the curtains blow softly in the wind, the heart is at peace.
Wishing you a window-opening day!
Please visit my website at: www.sandygriffin.com
Watch for my upcoming books in the next few weeks: Free to be Me! Creating the Dance of the Caregivers Life AND Gratitude Journal: Free to be Happy! And Free to Celebrate!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Heart of a City
On Saturday night my friend and I went into the heart of downtown Nashville to listen to some of the wonderful music that this city offers. After we enjoyed our favorite musicians - the best in Music City WE think - we were rushing to our cars as we tried to beat the sting of winter fast approaching. We were nearing our vehicles and turned a corner as a very frightened, waif-like looking girl passed us and then very meekly said, "I'm not asking you for money, but could I get you to buy me a hot dog? I am so hungry. Please don't judge me."
We stopped; there was something very sad and desperate in that voice; and terror in her face. Life had beat up this pregnant young lady. My heart went out to her. Heather, as we came to find out her name was, cowered, as if expecting to be struck.
When we stopped she backed up and said, "I am so hungry and so cold. I moved here from a small town because my boyfriend was beating me up. I can't go back."
And then as if we were judging her predicament, she put her hands on her growing stomach and said, "I am not keeping this baby. I am giving it up for adoption. Please don't judge me."
She continued on as if she had to explain why she deserved to eat, and stay warm this night.
"I stopped a policeman and asked him where I could get a blanket because I am so cold, and he told me that I was getting was I deserved." And she said it as if she believed that she did deserve to be hungry and cold!
She was getting what she deserved? I have seen animals treated better than this frightened human being. She was only asking for table scraps, and she couldn't even get that!
I reached in my purse and my friend reached in his pocket, and we extracted money to give to her. I knew that no matter how much money I had with me I was going to wish that I had more to give her, to help take away the pain that she was wearing. I was wishing that there was some way that I could make amends for that insensitive policeman - one of Nashville's finest - who told this child of God she was not worthy of the basics of life.
"Don't judge me," she repeated.
I was mortified and wanted to sit down and cry for life's injustice.
I was sad, and I know that God was hurting too.
I asked Heather if we could pray for her and her face lit up.
She whispered, "Someone cares..."
Heather, my friend, and I wrapped our arms tightly around each other and sent thanks up to our Father.
Heather was so cold, and I was sad that I had decided to wear a cute beaded blazer instead of a warm jacket that I could pass on to my new sister. I mentally perused the trunk of my parked car and tried to conjure up a warm blanket. But to no avail.
I gave Heather my card and she said she would keep in touch and let me know how she was doing; when she found a phone to use.
After we hugged and started to walk away we heard the tiny, whipped voice say, "You're my angels."
I felt like crying as I walked away, at the same time sending a prayer up to thank my Father that we were at the right place at that time. What an honor to be able to love and be a servant, in the small way that we knew how. This homeless girl ended up being a gift to us!
What has happened to the heart of this country? We are all one choice away from being in Heather's worn-out shoes. Would we want to be treated like a dog, or worse? Would it hurt to offer compassion and love in a world turning cold and impersonal?
Nashville - one of the friendliest cities in the United States? To everyone? Or only those clothed in expensive clothes?
Let's bring the heart back to this world - let's make this a world of love!
We stopped; there was something very sad and desperate in that voice; and terror in her face. Life had beat up this pregnant young lady. My heart went out to her. Heather, as we came to find out her name was, cowered, as if expecting to be struck.
When we stopped she backed up and said, "I am so hungry and so cold. I moved here from a small town because my boyfriend was beating me up. I can't go back."
And then as if we were judging her predicament, she put her hands on her growing stomach and said, "I am not keeping this baby. I am giving it up for adoption. Please don't judge me."
She continued on as if she had to explain why she deserved to eat, and stay warm this night.
"I stopped a policeman and asked him where I could get a blanket because I am so cold, and he told me that I was getting was I deserved." And she said it as if she believed that she did deserve to be hungry and cold!
She was getting what she deserved? I have seen animals treated better than this frightened human being. She was only asking for table scraps, and she couldn't even get that!
I reached in my purse and my friend reached in his pocket, and we extracted money to give to her. I knew that no matter how much money I had with me I was going to wish that I had more to give her, to help take away the pain that she was wearing. I was wishing that there was some way that I could make amends for that insensitive policeman - one of Nashville's finest - who told this child of God she was not worthy of the basics of life.
"Don't judge me," she repeated.
I was mortified and wanted to sit down and cry for life's injustice.
I was sad, and I know that God was hurting too.
I asked Heather if we could pray for her and her face lit up.
She whispered, "Someone cares..."
Heather, my friend, and I wrapped our arms tightly around each other and sent thanks up to our Father.
Heather was so cold, and I was sad that I had decided to wear a cute beaded blazer instead of a warm jacket that I could pass on to my new sister. I mentally perused the trunk of my parked car and tried to conjure up a warm blanket. But to no avail.
I gave Heather my card and she said she would keep in touch and let me know how she was doing; when she found a phone to use.
After we hugged and started to walk away we heard the tiny, whipped voice say, "You're my angels."
I felt like crying as I walked away, at the same time sending a prayer up to thank my Father that we were at the right place at that time. What an honor to be able to love and be a servant, in the small way that we knew how. This homeless girl ended up being a gift to us!
What has happened to the heart of this country? We are all one choice away from being in Heather's worn-out shoes. Would we want to be treated like a dog, or worse? Would it hurt to offer compassion and love in a world turning cold and impersonal?
Nashville - one of the friendliest cities in the United States? To everyone? Or only those clothed in expensive clothes?
Let's bring the heart back to this world - let's make this a world of love!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
There Are No Such Things as Accidents in Life
My sister Joann was having shoulder surgery. Not major surgery they say, but any surgery is major surgery. Our bodies were not meant to be cut open. But we do it, and it works.
I live in Nashville, and with my job and crazy schedule I was not able to be with her to help out in any way.
So I called to my hometown of St. Cloud, Minnesota where Joann still resides with her family, to order flowers for her...that was the least that I could do to help cheer her up as she recovered.
I looked online for florists in the St. Cloud area. I called a number of them and asked if they were local florists and then I hit on one that was locally owned. Being a small business owner I try to support the hometown businesses.
A lovely voice answered the phone and reassured me that they are a local business, founded by the woman on the other end of the phone.
I placed my order - a cheery bouquet of autumn flowers..."And how much do you want to spend?"
I inquired as to how much it would cost for a nice arrangement.
"$35.00", she said.
Okay, that sounded reasonable.
"What do you want the card to read?"
Those were the magic words.
First I said to just put...'Wishing you a speedy recovery'.
"No,no. Put 'Praying for a speedy recovery'."
I heard the voice at the other end whisper, "Ahhh..."
I gently interjected, "We pray together all of the time."
"You do?"
"Oh yes, I became a Christian about seven years ago at Willow Creek Church in Chicago, where I lived until two years ago, and I learned how to pray out loud. My sister gave her life to Christ when she was visiting me at Willow about five years ago, and we are connected at the heart in ways we never could have been before that."
For the next 10-20-30-40 or who-knows-how-long minutes, this wonderful lady with the open heart and I talked on the phone about the wonderful God that we serve. We shared our prayer life, we talked about our wounds, and then...yes, we prayed over that distance that had just closed. In that instant that lady from the locally-owned flower shop, entered my heart and was in that room with me.
Before we hesitantly hung up, she asked me if I would keep her and her husband in my prayers. You see, they are seeing a counselor because life got heavy, and their relationship was struggling.
I reassured her that I would and I hung up, feeling, no! knowing that this phone call for the flowers for my sister was not an accident. I could feel the smile of God enter my office, and a glow seemed to permeate the room
Oh, but the miracle didn't stop there.
Later that day a groggy, but drug-induced voice called me to squeal a thank you for the wonderful flowers that graced her kitchen table.
Before I could ask her for a verbal picture of the bouquet, she started to gush that she 'has never seen a more gorgeous arrangement in her life!"
Okay, so tomorrow when she was in her own mind, minus drugs, the flowers would go back to being a 'nice' arrangement.
Then her daughter came on the phone and proceeded to tell me that she was going to take a picture of the flowers on her phone to send to me, but the THREE-FOOT high arrangement was so big that it looked far away when she snapped the picture! And she said she had never seen beauty like she was seeing in those flowers!
Three foot high? Stunning arrangement? $35.00?!!
And then she didn't even take a credit card...she sent me a bill in the mail! In 2008!! It felt so...trusting!
God never ceases to amaze me.
I called to order flowers, and somehow this seemingly simple act bound together three women who loved the Lord. HE was - and IS - the glue that binds us.
I called to order flowers, and the word PRAYING opened two hearts across the country, over telephone lines, and brought three women together.
I ordered flowers from a local florist, we connected and prayed, my sister received the biggest vase of LOVE that she has ever received in her life - from me and an unnamed child of God who gives through flowers - God's masterpiece - and in that instant that the phone line connected for that order, we were all connected (maybe, just maybe, it was set in motion before that call - but we just didn't know it yet!)
I imagine this great God of ours sitting on His throne, looking down and smiling on the three of us all in our respective homes in awe of what transpired in that short but impactful amount of time, and I can just hear his sigh as he mutters to Himself, "Ah, three women that get what life is all about, three people that are giving glory to the One that orchestrated this - and every move - in their days. They get it; they really get it!"
I live in Nashville, and with my job and crazy schedule I was not able to be with her to help out in any way.
So I called to my hometown of St. Cloud, Minnesota where Joann still resides with her family, to order flowers for her...that was the least that I could do to help cheer her up as she recovered.
I looked online for florists in the St. Cloud area. I called a number of them and asked if they were local florists and then I hit on one that was locally owned. Being a small business owner I try to support the hometown businesses.
A lovely voice answered the phone and reassured me that they are a local business, founded by the woman on the other end of the phone.
I placed my order - a cheery bouquet of autumn flowers..."And how much do you want to spend?"
I inquired as to how much it would cost for a nice arrangement.
"$35.00", she said.
Okay, that sounded reasonable.
"What do you want the card to read?"
Those were the magic words.
First I said to just put...'Wishing you a speedy recovery'.
"No,no. Put 'Praying for a speedy recovery'."
I heard the voice at the other end whisper, "Ahhh..."
I gently interjected, "We pray together all of the time."
"You do?"
"Oh yes, I became a Christian about seven years ago at Willow Creek Church in Chicago, where I lived until two years ago, and I learned how to pray out loud. My sister gave her life to Christ when she was visiting me at Willow about five years ago, and we are connected at the heart in ways we never could have been before that."
For the next 10-20-30-40 or who-knows-how-long minutes, this wonderful lady with the open heart and I talked on the phone about the wonderful God that we serve. We shared our prayer life, we talked about our wounds, and then...yes, we prayed over that distance that had just closed. In that instant that lady from the locally-owned flower shop, entered my heart and was in that room with me.
Before we hesitantly hung up, she asked me if I would keep her and her husband in my prayers. You see, they are seeing a counselor because life got heavy, and their relationship was struggling.
I reassured her that I would and I hung up, feeling, no! knowing that this phone call for the flowers for my sister was not an accident. I could feel the smile of God enter my office, and a glow seemed to permeate the room
Oh, but the miracle didn't stop there.
Later that day a groggy, but drug-induced voice called me to squeal a thank you for the wonderful flowers that graced her kitchen table.
Before I could ask her for a verbal picture of the bouquet, she started to gush that she 'has never seen a more gorgeous arrangement in her life!"
Okay, so tomorrow when she was in her own mind, minus drugs, the flowers would go back to being a 'nice' arrangement.
Then her daughter came on the phone and proceeded to tell me that she was going to take a picture of the flowers on her phone to send to me, but the THREE-FOOT high arrangement was so big that it looked far away when she snapped the picture! And she said she had never seen beauty like she was seeing in those flowers!
Three foot high? Stunning arrangement? $35.00?!!
And then she didn't even take a credit card...she sent me a bill in the mail! In 2008!! It felt so...trusting!
God never ceases to amaze me.
I called to order flowers, and somehow this seemingly simple act bound together three women who loved the Lord. HE was - and IS - the glue that binds us.
I called to order flowers, and the word PRAYING opened two hearts across the country, over telephone lines, and brought three women together.
I ordered flowers from a local florist, we connected and prayed, my sister received the biggest vase of LOVE that she has ever received in her life - from me and an unnamed child of God who gives through flowers - God's masterpiece - and in that instant that the phone line connected for that order, we were all connected (maybe, just maybe, it was set in motion before that call - but we just didn't know it yet!)
I imagine this great God of ours sitting on His throne, looking down and smiling on the three of us all in our respective homes in awe of what transpired in that short but impactful amount of time, and I can just hear his sigh as he mutters to Himself, "Ah, three women that get what life is all about, three people that are giving glory to the One that orchestrated this - and every move - in their days. They get it; they really get it!"
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