The Christmas Gifts in Front of us

Christmas - family, friends, food, laughter, presents, noise, excitement, anxiety, tempers, baggage, different personalities, disappointment, sadness, learning.

When I was growing up in Minnesota - in a rather large family of 12 kids and 2 parents - I just knew that Christmas meant noise, very few presents (no one has enough money to satisfy the hunger for gifts for that many people!), food and chaos.
When I got on my own, married and had kids I overdid Christmas. Oh yes, there was noise, but there were too many presents, too much food and way too much busyness. I was making up for what I thought I lost in the Christmases of years gone by; trying to fill the hole that I imagined was there from childhood. I enjoyed doing it ALL, but until this year I missed out on many of the manger's gifts.
Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, the most important person in my life. But somehow that moved in behind the hustle and bustle of life.

Jacki and Tim, Katie and Lauren, my three daughters and the token boyfriend that could come to Nashville for the holidays, were together these past days. And somehow I was feeling that through all of my preparation and decoration, this was falling short of a Norman Rockwell Christmas. I couldn't understand how my well-laid plans were not the way I envisioned this season of sugarplums that danced in my head.
All of the ingredients were there. The recipe consisted of presents, food, lots of friends and tension.
I didn't order the tension, that was not in the instructions of this perfect time together. But nonetheless, the tension was present and took on a life of its own.
And then I got it. As much as I wanted to point the finger at someone else; I was the originator of the tautness of emotions around my own home.
Me!! The communicator of all time. I teach this stuff...and yet I was wallowing in it.

I woke up today, that day after Christmas, and in a few short minutes it was as if my faults and shortcomings were being unveiled right in front of my own heart. Well, some of them anyway!
I couldn't wait for my girls to spend this time with me,meet my friends, spend time with my friends and share all of my time. After all, they are on my turf, right?
Then, in the early morning darkness, the truth was brought to light.
I wanted them to meet my friends, I wanted them to embrace my life, I wanted them to share me and accept all of the people that I brought into my heart and life.
And I could see as clear as can be that my recipe for life did not have the same ingredients that theirs did.
I woke them up in the early morning light and shared my aching heart with them. I cheated them out of ME, and I robbed myself of the gift of time to spend with these wonderful ladies that had come to Nashville to love, laugh and spend time together.
I have so many people in my life - I want everyone to meet and get to know my girls. I did not take the time to find out if my girls wanted to get to know everyone I know. I opened the door to all, and in doing so, closed the door to the family unit. The message I silently sent to the most important people on this earth to me, was that they are important - like my good friends; instead of focusing on them and letting my actions show that they - and time spent with them - is the greatest gift of all. I fell short in this part of the gift giving this year.
I gave presents, I gave great food, I gave my friends - but I shorted them on the greatest gift of all...the gift of time, the gift of laughter, the gift of each other.
My greatest gift this Christmas - the lessons that were revealed to me this morning as I unwrapped the disappointment and pain of the Christmas that fell short of my dreams and left me able to throw away the wrappings of the past and embrace the future, more cognizant of my girls tender feelings before.
It is never too late to look under the Christmnas tree of life, look at the gifts right in front of us and embrace this moment,our present.

The Comfort of the Night

I am sitting here at my computer at 4:00 a.m. and I am feeling peaceful and wide-awake. My daughter Lauren is asleep in the house and there is only the clicking sound of the tapping of the computer keys.
At the end of any day - good or bad -there is a welcome respite in closing ones eyes and mind off from the hum of the rest of the world and putting the day to rest.
Have you ever noticed that the sounds of the day are like fuel to our minds? We put our foot on the accelerator of our days and we move ahead, many times pushing down the gas pedal out of sheer frustration, moving ahead but not going anywhere important.
There are times I lie in bed and recap the day that was just taken from me, or rather, the day that I rushed right through and didn't take the time to enjoy any of the moments.
But the night, the peaceful night. As I write these words I know that the phone is not going to ring, the doorbell will not chime and Lauren is sleeping with the visions of sugarplums dancing in her head. Okay, that sounds cheesy but it is Christmastime and I do live on Sugarplum Road so I just thought that would be a cute addition!! Just go along with it!
I am sitting comfortably in my computer chair, the heater at my feet and it as if I feel the arms of God wrapping around my body and soul and for a moment in time, it is just God and I sitting here as I peck away.
Oh believe me, I have had the terror of the night. The times when I felt like life was closing in on me, the times when I wonderd why I had done some of the hidden - not to be brought out of the closet - things that I had done. Those terror brought me closer to the One who gives me peace and the One who sits with me and comforts me in the dark.
Right now it is just He and I, sitting here in the dark, talking about life and the path that He has me on. And there is comfort in the dark.
It is time to shut down the computer, feel the comfort of the warmth of the black blanket that covers me and protects me, and doze in the arms of knowing that I am right where I am supposed to be right now. Zzzzzzz!

The Gift of Girlfriends!

Community...connection. That is what the world is all about. It is not about stuff...
On Friday night I entertained a house full of speakers in my home. It was an evening of getting to know each others hearts and sharing stories of each others lives...with lots of food and laughs filling in the gaps.
What a joy to see the human side of people, the 'real side', the part that is not concerned about making money, but is concerned about making a difference.
Then the next evening the house filled up with girlfriends. Oh, the sound of fun and laughter and love. I can only imagine how Jesus must have been smiling down on my house last night.
From the first girlfriends, Gina and Tammy, who came early to help get ready; to the two girls that came into the house, made a name tag and grabbed hugs and great conversation before anyone realized that they were at the wrong party!!
But the evening was so much more than anything I can write down on paper.
It is common knowledge that when girls gather there is jealousy, insecurity and judgement. There was the obvious absence of that from the minute the first guest walked through the door.
Everyone wanted to know each other and celebrate their stories. Most girls had never met each other, but had heard about the other from stories I have shared. And they came to the house ready to share, laugh, and love. And there was not a shortage of any of these.
I marveled at the ease in which each person conversed with the person standing in the food line next to them, the ease in which the women grabbed each other for a hug or laughed at the fun of the Santa hats and red clown noses.
Oh, it didn't stop there. There was the costume jewelry game and the music by Teresa.
And the love. And the greatest of these was love.
We celebrated Christmas, the birth of the baby. He was ever so present in my house this weekend.
What a gift he is to us...happy birthday Jesus! Thank you for being at your own party...we gave you your gift - the gift of love! We gave you back the gift of you...thank you!

It's About People

I was in the grocery store and the mall yesterday. As I prepared for two parties at my house this next weekend I stood back and watched the harried shoppers rushing around.
I felt sad as I watched people being treated like machines, not human beings.

What is Christmas all about?
The wrapping paper?
The presents?
The food?
The songs?

Or, is it about the people? The people made in His image?
That little baby that lay wrapped in the warmth of the nearby hay, the baby that cried so we wouldn't have to, the baby that was born so we could live...now THAT is Christmas.

The food, the presents, the music...should all be used to enhance the gifts that we were already given...they should not be THE gift.

Pause a minute. As you rush through the grocery store, as you give unforgiving looks to the mother whose baby is tired and whining, honk at the car that pulled into the parking space that you were so impatiently waiting for...is that really the true meaning of Christmas?

Or is it the time you took to talk to the elderly person that is struggling to walk through the door? Is it the meal you brought to the person without a permanent address in your town? Is it the door you opened at the mall and the hand you laid on a stranger's arm to remind them that someone cares?

That baby that was born in the hay...let's step back and imitate the life He lived, the walk He walked and let's be a reminder to those who forgot the true meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas, child of the Child!

Close the Door Softly and Open a Window!

When the door of a friendship closes it often slams shut with such a loud bang!!
Some people are okay with that, but I have a hard time having people close doors loudly in my life.
I was not really aware of that until recently when a dear friend of mine and I had a disagreement. It ended in a way that caught me off-guard...I think it shook up both of us. When he walked out of my house that sunny day and the door closed, I felt all alone in that house, in this world. Just for a moment.
The ending of the friendship as we knew it was right on time, but the manner in which it ended made me feel sad. I don't like slammed doors in my life, and on my heart.
I ran into this friend unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. I boldly walked over to him, greeted him and we exchanged small talk. Then I sat down on a stool by him and talked about the elephant in the room. I made a joke about it, and we both laughed. He joked and we started talking. We agreed that we could be acquaintances and then the flow of conversation began again.
At the end of the evening we were both approaching the door at the same time and my girlfriend Lane was conveniently ahead of us, and with familiarity and ease he draped his arm over my shoulder as we walked to the parking lot.
We hugged, both echoing how nice it was to see each other, and headed to our vehicles.
The door that had been slammed? It was reopened and shut lightly, and a window was opened.
On the way home as I thought about the evening I realized that when doors close I want them shut quietly, and then I want a window opened. That way when I see the person who closed the door, or that I gently closed on them, we can still look through that open window and wave to each other. Or maybe even hang on the window sill and share a few words or a laugh. And when we walk away and the curtains blow softly in the wind, the heart is at peace.
Wishing you a window-opening day!




Please visit my website at: www.sandygriffin.com
Watch for my upcoming books in the next few weeks: Free to be Me! Creating the Dance of the Caregivers Life AND Gratitude Journal: Free to be Happy! And Free to Celebrate!

The Heart of a City

On Saturday night my friend and I went into the heart of downtown Nashville to listen to some of the wonderful music that this city offers. After we enjoyed our favorite musicians - the best in Music City WE think - we were rushing to our cars as we tried to beat the sting of winter fast approaching. We were nearing our vehicles and turned a corner as a very frightened, waif-like looking girl passed us and then very meekly said, "I'm not asking you for money, but could I get you to buy me a hot dog? I am so hungry. Please don't judge me."
We stopped; there was something very sad and desperate in that voice; and terror in her face. Life had beat up this pregnant young lady. My heart went out to her. Heather, as we came to find out her name was, cowered, as if expecting to be struck.
When we stopped she backed up and said, "I am so hungry and so cold. I moved here from a small town because my boyfriend was beating me up. I can't go back."
And then as if we were judging her predicament, she put her hands on her growing stomach and said, "I am not keeping this baby. I am giving it up for adoption. Please don't judge me."
She continued on as if she had to explain why she deserved to eat, and stay warm this night.
"I stopped a policeman and asked him where I could get a blanket because I am so cold, and he told me that I was getting was I deserved." And she said it as if she believed that she did deserve to be hungry and cold!
She was getting what she deserved? I have seen animals treated better than this frightened human being. She was only asking for table scraps, and she couldn't even get that!
I reached in my purse and my friend reached in his pocket, and we extracted money to give to her. I knew that no matter how much money I had with me I was going to wish that I had more to give her, to help take away the pain that she was wearing. I was wishing that there was some way that I could make amends for that insensitive policeman - one of Nashville's finest - who told this child of God she was not worthy of the basics of life.
"Don't judge me," she repeated.
I was mortified and wanted to sit down and cry for life's injustice.
I was sad, and I know that God was hurting too.
I asked Heather if we could pray for her and her face lit up.
She whispered, "Someone cares..."
Heather, my friend, and I wrapped our arms tightly around each other and sent thanks up to our Father.
Heather was so cold, and I was sad that I had decided to wear a cute beaded blazer instead of a warm jacket that I could pass on to my new sister. I mentally perused the trunk of my parked car and tried to conjure up a warm blanket. But to no avail.
I gave Heather my card and she said she would keep in touch and let me know how she was doing; when she found a phone to use.
After we hugged and started to walk away we heard the tiny, whipped voice say, "You're my angels."
I felt like crying as I walked away, at the same time sending a prayer up to thank my Father that we were at the right place at that time. What an honor to be able to love and be a servant, in the small way that we knew how. This homeless girl ended up being a gift to us!
What has happened to the heart of this country? We are all one choice away from being in Heather's worn-out shoes. Would we want to be treated like a dog, or worse? Would it hurt to offer compassion and love in a world turning cold and impersonal?
Nashville - one of the friendliest cities in the United States? To everyone? Or only those clothed in expensive clothes?
Let's bring the heart back to this world - let's make this a world of love!

There Are No Such Things as Accidents in Life

My sister Joann was having shoulder surgery. Not major surgery they say, but any surgery is major surgery. Our bodies were not meant to be cut open. But we do it, and it works.
I live in Nashville, and with my job and crazy schedule I was not able to be with her to help out in any way.
So I called to my hometown of St. Cloud, Minnesota where Joann still resides with her family, to order flowers for her...that was the least that I could do to help cheer her up as she recovered.
I looked online for florists in the St. Cloud area. I called a number of them and asked if they were local florists and then I hit on one that was locally owned. Being a small business owner I try to support the hometown businesses.
A lovely voice answered the phone and reassured me that they are a local business, founded by the woman on the other end of the phone.
I placed my order - a cheery bouquet of autumn flowers..."And how much do you want to spend?"
I inquired as to how much it would cost for a nice arrangement.
"$35.00", she said.
Okay, that sounded reasonable.
"What do you want the card to read?"

Those were the magic words.
First I said to just put...'Wishing you a speedy recovery'.

"No,no. Put 'Praying for a speedy recovery'."

I heard the voice at the other end whisper, "Ahhh..."

I gently interjected, "We pray together all of the time."
"You do?"
"Oh yes, I became a Christian about seven years ago at Willow Creek Church in Chicago, where I lived until two years ago, and I learned how to pray out loud. My sister gave her life to Christ when she was visiting me at Willow about five years ago, and we are connected at the heart in ways we never could have been before that."

For the next 10-20-30-40 or who-knows-how-long minutes, this wonderful lady with the open heart and I talked on the phone about the wonderful God that we serve. We shared our prayer life, we talked about our wounds, and then...yes, we prayed over that distance that had just closed. In that instant that lady from the locally-owned flower shop, entered my heart and was in that room with me.
Before we hesitantly hung up, she asked me if I would keep her and her husband in my prayers. You see, they are seeing a counselor because life got heavy, and their relationship was struggling.
I reassured her that I would and I hung up, feeling, no! knowing that this phone call for the flowers for my sister was not an accident. I could feel the smile of God enter my office, and a glow seemed to permeate the room

Oh, but the miracle didn't stop there.

Later that day a groggy, but drug-induced voice called me to squeal a thank you for the wonderful flowers that graced her kitchen table.
Before I could ask her for a verbal picture of the bouquet, she started to gush that she 'has never seen a more gorgeous arrangement in her life!"
Okay, so tomorrow when she was in her own mind, minus drugs, the flowers would go back to being a 'nice' arrangement.
Then her daughter came on the phone and proceeded to tell me that she was going to take a picture of the flowers on her phone to send to me, but the THREE-FOOT high arrangement was so big that it looked far away when she snapped the picture! And she said she had never seen beauty like she was seeing in those flowers!

Three foot high? Stunning arrangement? $35.00?!!
And then she didn't even take a credit card...she sent me a bill in the mail! In 2008!! It felt so...trusting!

God never ceases to amaze me.

I called to order flowers, and somehow this seemingly simple act bound together three women who loved the Lord. HE was - and IS - the glue that binds us.
I called to order flowers, and the word PRAYING opened two hearts across the country, over telephone lines, and brought three women together.
I ordered flowers from a local florist, we connected and prayed, my sister received the biggest vase of LOVE that she has ever received in her life - from me and an unnamed child of God who gives through flowers - God's masterpiece - and in that instant that the phone line connected for that order, we were all connected (maybe, just maybe, it was set in motion before that call - but we just didn't know it yet!)

I imagine this great God of ours sitting on His throne, looking down and smiling on the three of us all in our respective homes in awe of what transpired in that short but impactful amount of time, and I can just hear his sigh as he mutters to Himself, "Ah, three women that get what life is all about, three people that are giving glory to the One that orchestrated this - and every move - in their days. They get it; they really get it!"

And Friends Are Friends Forever...

Jacki, my oldest daughter, and I were talking about the changes in this world and how much work it is to have a healthy relationship where two people can talk to each other, and work for solution instead of having to be 'right'.
The more we talked the more I realized that most people want to avoid conflict and when there is a teachable moment, it has become the norm to throw the relationship away!
This is a microwave society - "I want it and I want it NOW!" And we are a country where we throw away things that are broken, or are not perfect. And that seems to extend to people.
I have had so many girlfriends in my lifetime. And it seems that the more honest I am with them, the quicker they move onto other women who will tell them what they want to hear.
I recently confronted, in love, a friend about not being her word, not doing what she said she was going to do. She had nothing to say, and that was the end of the friendship, as we knew it.
I have made several attempts to contact her. Oh yes, she will answer the phone, but there is a coolness about her. She has not made any attempts to phone me. I tried to talk about love and how things will never be perfect between two people (afetr all, we are all human). She agreed and we both said that conflict is an oportunity to use the skills that we know, or are perfecting.
After we agreed to this I never heard from her again.
How can anyone be honest when they are so afraid of losing a frindship? Is it a real friendship if things are said and done, lacking the honest part? And what are we teaching our children?
We need to have mandatory communication classes in junior high. We are taught to add, cook, sew but NOT to get along with others or how to be coachable. Life skills...we never seem to have time for those.
Slow down and learn to listen and solve. This throw-away world is causing too much pain. Life is too short to be giving up good friends. Because only good friends will tell you the truth in love and honesty...and they are keepers!

Blessings and the Stock Market

I walked out to my Halloween decorated mailbox, reached my hand in to grab a bundle of bills, advertisements and letters.
On the way to the house I looked through the collection of mostly paper to be filed in the circular file. I saw an oversized envelope that boasted the return address from Morgan Stanley. Ah! My investment portfolio.
I have been opening them and putting them in my file without looking at the numbers that are slowly going downhill.
This day, with the stock market spiraling downward, I decided to sneak a peek at the numbers. Whoa! I was in for a real shock! I had lost $12,000 in one month! My spirit started to go down with the numbers on the page when I stood up and stopped myself.
What had changed from the moment that I had stepped outside to get the mail and the moment that I opened my large envelope?
Absolutely nothing! When I walked in the house the chocolate chip cookies that were baking in the over were still baking, the vacuum cleaner waiting to be used was still in the place that I had left it, the work to be entered into the computer was still waiting.
Nothing had changed and yet I was allowing numbers on a piece of paper to dictate my attitude.
Then it hit me. We are a country that is being paralyzed with fear. And we are allowing it! We grudgingly pay the rising food prices, cringe when we pull up to the gas pump, and then we sit around the table with friends and family and complain about the woes of the world.
There isn't anything that I can do about the stock market. But I can make a choice to forget about the numbers on that piece of paper in my mailbox with the return address from Morgan Stanley. Those numbers do not dictate the tone of my days, they do not scream to the world who I am. My net worth is not the human being I am.
The country's economic future may appear grim right now, but this too will pass. Until it does we owe it to the Dream Giver to thank Him for the gifts that He has blessed us with. And then give that piece of paper only the attention that it deserves...and appreciate the sound of every breath that you are able to take.




You can learn more about me when you visit mebsite: www.sandygriffin.com - remember to sign up for my newsletter!

Life on the 6th Avenue Benches!

The day was Sunday, my favorite day of the week. After running around like a hamster on a wheel all week I get to fill up my spirit on Sundays.

I woke up to sunny skies and birds chirping. I jumped out of bed and did my daily necessary-hygiene-but-not-liking-it types of duties. I had slept in and felt a bit rushed. After all, the yearly Southern Book Fair was on the plaza today. I didn't want to miss out on a minute of it.

As I drove into downtown Nashville and neared Legislative Plaza I started to get excited. I've lived in the Music City for 2 years and have not had a chance to experience the Fair before this year. As I got closer to my destination I was thrilled that there were not cars lining the streets; I was going to get a parking spot that was close to the plaza. Ah! Life is good.

After I parked in the 'Rock Star' spot I noticed that the booths with the books and authors were still covered with their tarps. I saw the Book Fair information sign and then I realized - I was two hours early!

Okay, what was I supposed to do? Drive back home? Find a coffee shop and have a cup of java? Recline my car seat and try to take a nap - wait! I had only been awake for two hours!

I opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk on 6th Street. After growing up in Minnesota and spending the 20 years before I moved to the Volunteer State, in Chicago, the long-into-fall day that greeted me was an unexpected gift. The warm, 90degree air that enveloped me made for a picture-perfect day.

As I locked my car door and looked around, I saw the homeless men that I feed on the Sundays that I am in town, occupying their self-appointed benches. That was it - I was handed a golden opportunity to share with these men.

I approached David, a burly black man with a smile that could land planes. His face lit up the moment he spotted me. We may not have exchanged names before, but we had touched hearts. He greeted me and invited me to sit on the half of the bench that he was not occupying. In that moment the rest of the world disappeared. I did not notice any other people on the street, and the odor of unclean clothes and a body denied of a shower were non-existent. It was two fellow human beings doing life together.

I asked questions, very gently. What surprised me was David's hunger to talk and tell his story. We talked about his lost dreams of what he wanted to be when he grew up, the family that deserted him when he needed them, life on the streets and the family that had grown out of his hunger for community.

After I finished chatting and praying with David I walked to another bench and recognized Woody, and then onto Carl. I spent time with both of these beautiful souls that had so much to share, and yet were tossed away by society. We laughed, we took pictures, we exchanged e-mail addresses. Yes, they check their e-mail when they are in the library at the end of the block. It amazed me how well read these men are. The common denominator between all three men was that they all love sports. I felt a sudden sadness as I wondered if they would ever get the chance again to attend sporting events with their limited resources.

These men are amazing: they read all day long, they are in touch with nature, they encourage each other, they do life together.

I finally walked to the Book Fair and felt that I had just been handed the greatest gift of all. I did not treat it lightly that these men had shared their stories with me. It was an honor. And to let them know how much I care for them I bought them $6.79 sandwiches at the Fair. Nothing was too good for these children of God.

I walked back and handed them my meager offerings. They smiled through their toothless lips and I witnessed as their hearts encompassed their faces. In that instant I knew I was in the presence of Jesus. I was given a gift that no one can ever take back from me.

I drove home after the Book Fair, the fair that I soon came to realize was the vehicle to get me to my new friends. As I passed the extravagant houses on my way home I wondered how many of these homes had the community, the laughter, the love that I experienced between that family on 6th Avenue. These men are living together, while America watches the disconnect that has families living silently in the same dwellings.

Today I glimpsed a bit of heaven on earth, and I got to be a part of it. I was expecting to spend the day getting filled up with books. There was a different plan at work here, in the same way that the expectations of my fellow human beings had taken a different turn than they had expected. When they were growing up they had dreams just like I did. Our expectations and well-laid plans don't always (maybe hardly ever?!) turn out the way we map out.

I will be visiting my 'brothers' next Sunday, but this time when I bring them a meal, I will gift myself with the time to break bread with them. I have found new family members the day I thought I was merely going to a Book Fair!


To learn more about me or to sign up for my monthly newsletter, please take a peek at my website: www.sandygriffin.com

Panic or Praise: Focus Your Eyes on What You Want To See

At 6:00 this morning it was still dark when I put on a light sweater and I closed the door behind me to begin my day. I was walking at a fast pace through the neighborhood, collecting the peace in my heart that I was going to need to face the rigors of the new day/week.
The peace in my heart was being disturbed by the appearance of new 'For Sale' signs on the front lawns of houses in my neighborhood. My mind started to go down the path of sadness; wondering about the families in each of these houses and agonizing about what their situations might be. I sent a prayer up for them as I passed the houses with the signs.
I was wondering, "Were they moving to a place that was a better fit for them? Was this a happy move? Was divorce involved? Bankruptcy? Foreclosure in the future? Would the kids have to change schools? Would a new president be a blessing to this country?"
I had not even realized that my peaceful mind had gone to a place that was not so content. My early morning connect-with-God walk and talk was not what I had set out for any more. I was hurting for the stories behind the walls, I was feeling the stress of the economy of the country, I had taken on the problems of the world - and it was starting to feel heavy.
Then...right then - across the lawn of an already-deserted brick home, under the crooked For Sale sign, ran a little bunny; a rabbit seemingly so happy with not a care in the world.
And the irony of all that is happening hit me - right in the heart.
WE are not in control. God did not wake up this morning and say to himself, "Oh No! I slept last night and during that time the world went crazy. What am I going to do now?"
God knew that all of this craziness was going to occur. He even allowed it. Now it is the time to keep our eyes on the light and be still. Listen to what He has to say to us. And do not be afraid. There is nothing to fear, for He is with us always.
That bunny...hopping under the For Sale sign...showed me the presence of the Dream Giver, the Master.
Do we worry about the brick and mortar, or do we trust the One who created the bunny hopping under the sign, on the blades of green grass that began as ONE single seed and grew up into a proud blade of grass? Can we trust someone who can do a miracle like that?
I lightly took the next step on my morning journey inside of my peaceful heart and looked around for all of the things to be thankful for, and the gifts far outweighed the challenges: the sun starting to peek over the mountains, the flowers that are still in bloom in October, the smell of bacon wafting out of the window of a household getting ready to face the new day, the vehicles in the driveways that would be transporting people to their destinations today, the symphony of the birds that were giving me a concert for free, the distant bark of a dog that is bringing joy to a family.
As I was counting the blessings the bunny ran in front of me...ah, a reminder of WHO and WHAT is really important in this life.

Lauren: Gift to the World!

My baby is going to be 22 years old on Saturday! As I like to tell her, that is the day that she came out of the 'womb with a view'.
What is so hard about seeing our babies grow up? Is it that THEY are getting older, OR that WE are getting older too?
I sat across the table from Lauren today at lunch, and as I watched her nibble on a salad I started to wander back in my mind's eye to the moment that I found out that I was pregnant. I was so excited!
Then came the frightening words a couple of weeks later, "You have cancer cells."
Through the long, agonizing pregnancy, praying that this gift of a baby girl would enter the world with a wail and a smile, I delivered Lauren Michelle Griffin to the waiting world. The miracle baby had arrived and blessed the world!
And what a treat she has been, this bundle of energy with the bright red hair.
My baby. 22. Wow!
Where did the time go?
I remember hearing 'older' people say that when I was younger, and I thought it was exaggerated...until my kids grew up.
Childhood DOES come with an expiration date. I didn't buy an extended warranty. I can't buy back time. Lauren's childhood expired and she has entered ADULTHOOD.
My young lady will be 22 on Saturday and I could not be any prouder of the person that she has grown into...the person that is finding something new in herself every day, the person who delights in the mishaps that happen to her that make great stories, the woman who cries when she sees someone else crying, laughs until she cries when the other person is doing the same - over something so silly, and loves in a way that few people can boast.
The baby/young woman is having a birthday. Happy day beautiful child of God! You have been a gift to the world!



To find out more about me and what I do please go to my website: www.sandygriffin.com
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Blessings From The Gas Crunch

"What if we run out of gas?"
"How are we going to get places?"
What about our vacation?"

My second daughter, Katie, called last week and we were talking about the current state of this country gone wild. It seems that overnight our stability - what little we were feeling - was shaken and leaving us feeling a bit insecure of our future.
Katie is 24 years old and lives in Chicago. She is a caseworker for the mentally challenged, and loves people. Katie is a servant.
After we whined about the cost of a gallon of gas in our respective states, Katie voiced a well thought out insight.
"Mom, I think this so-called gas shortage is all a gift from God."
"HUH?"
"Think about it for a minute, Mom. There is no disputing that the ozone layer is disappearing. One of the culprits is from gas being emitted into the atmosphere. Now people are not driving as much because it is affecting their wallets, not even thinking about the ozone layer, but it is slowing down the deterioration of the ozone.
Not only that, but families are living alone together and are not gathering around the table much any more. But with the gas scare, people are thinking twice about the unnecessary trips they are taking in their vehicles, and are staying at home more. They are spending more time in their homes - with their families."
"Can't you see, Mom? THIS is all part of God's divine plan!"

Listening to my daughter see God's hand in this time of fear, and recognize that it is a loving hand, made me want to kneel down and cry.
There is no doubt that the country is paralyzed by fear.
But what can we do about it?
There are many things.
We can enjoy what we do have, the gifts that are given to us free of charge.
When you wake up in the morning and open the blinds, say a loud prayer for the gift of another day, another breath, a window to look out at the world through.
Greet a stranger and show them the beauty - the true beauty - of this world that will transcend into the next.
Give a gas card to someone that is struggling with finances, despite your own worries, and feel the warmth spread through your body and land in your heart to reside.
Turn off the TV, close the newspaper, hug your family for no reason at all.
Our economy has survived worse shake-ups that this. This is a part of history that will a story in the future. Do all the good that you can to help alleviate others fears and watch as yours fall off of you, and peace fills your soul.
When you fill up with gas the next time, give the rising prices only the attention that it deserves. And that is a small, swift kick to the tires and then a prayer for the blessings.
Thank you Katie for unveiling the blessings that we allowed to blind us; to the beauty of this season!
The earth and disconnected families will forever be grateful for the gift of the 'gas scare'.

Make sure you visit my website at www.sandygriffin.com and sign up for my free newsletter and teleclass.

Step Out of Your Own Way!

I am sitting in the airport in Charlotte, North Carolina and wanting to board my next flight for the last leg of my journey home. It has been a journey that traveled much further than the actual geographical miles than the plane’s course.
I was in Los Angeles for business meetings for 10 days. That is a long time to be in one place – unless it is a tropical place and there are no deadlines or meetings to attend.
As I went to various meetings and reached in my heart for clearer direction to have a greater impact with my speaking, I was confronted with that thing that keeps getting in my way: the PAST. But this time I decided to embrace it and get to know it.
With some pain and excitement the curtain lifted and I was able to see behind it. What an exciting future is held in the palm of His hand. I do not know of all of the plans He has for me – after all it is very clear that HE knows the plans He has for me - but I do know the next step that He wants me to take. And that is all that I need to know.
I was able to step outside of myself, look at who I was created to be and the gifts that were put together that formed me, and I am more than ready to work with those.
But meanwhile I am at the airport with all of the rest of the weary travelers that have tried unsuccessfully to get comfortable in their cramped airplane seats, so they could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I wonder where their journey has, or will take them. I look into their eyes and wonder if they are open to the promptings and internal growth that will come their way. Are their hearts open to the life lessons that may block their paths? Will the insecurities that they took on in their childhoods peek their unwelcome heads in their daily activities? And then will they confront them with reckless abandonment and squeeze the lessons from them, or will they take the pain and add it to the heavy accumulation of regrets and guilt that have darkened the corners of their hearts?
When I board the delayed plane to get to my final destination, Nashville, I am sitting here in my relatively comfortable seat in the bustling airport that is waking up to the sounds of a new day and thanking God for this journey of the body and the heart. I traveled far – much farther than my travel itinerary states - and now I am smiling as I think of the next step on life’s journey.

You can learn more about me at - www.sandygriffin.com - and sign up to receive the free newsletter and to get information on the first telecourse! Your life will be better because of it!

Enjoying Family...ahhh!

I am packing to go to Los Angeles in the morning and Lauren is walking around the house; trying to help me.
I love the sounds of having her in the house.
You see Lauren is my very animated daughter. She will be 22 in a couple of weeks, as she keeps reminding me. As if I would/could forget OR like I wasn't there on that Labor Day.
Anyway, I love the sounds of family around. There is a comfort when people who are comfortable in your surroundings are haunting the house.
Lauren is taking me to the airport at 4:30 a.m....EEKS! That is early so she is spending the night at my house. She goes to MTSU, a university that is about a half hour away from me. (And she got an A on her big test this week...the proud mom!)
As I was trying on clothes to take on my 10 day adventure to Los Angeles, Lauren lay on the bedroom floor, eyeing the outfits I was putting together and making funny comments. And she can be funny!!
In between packing and baking cookies (for her to bring to the hairdresser when she gets her hair cut tomorrow), I dyed the underneath section of her hair. We laughed, we danced, we pretended to fight. The child in each of us came out and it felt so good; so right.
Our kid's childhood expires so fast, but these are the times that I am going to remember forever: the laughter, the hugs, the looks passed between us that no one can take away, the hair dyeing, the love.
Tonight probably seems like any other night; rather boring to the reader, really.
But to me - the mother - tonight was a little slice of heaven!

Dreams do come true...but sometimes you have to work for them!

Tonight Jacki, my oldest daughter finished her Masters Program at Lindenwood College in St. Louis. I am so proud that I feel as if she graduated for both of us.
Jacki is, and always has been a hard worker, and very determined. And this accomplishment is another result of her tenacity.
I am so proud; did I say that already?!!
You see, Jacki paid for her MBA program, finished it in 18 months and graduated with high honors.

How many times in our lives have we quit something, sometimes even before we start, because it seems like it will be too hard? How many times have we let our dreams die - often wondering what would have happened if we had run the whole race; stuck it out?
This is a world where we buy something new if something breaks; we buy new clothes if something needs sewing or a button falls off.
We are not a fix-it country. Throw it away and get a new one - whatever it is.
Clothes, cars, appliances, relationships.
Relationships?
Yes, in this technological, microwave world, we want things taken care of, and taken care of NOW. If that can't be done, if it can't be fixed; then get a new one. NOW.
Consider the divorce rate in the United States. 60%. Throw it away and get a new one - until that one is not perfect any more.
We aren't teaching our children to try to fix things...so we throw out marriage with the torn jeans.
But there are still Gen Y'ers that take pride in hard work, and figuring a way to get ahead.
That is what Jacki did this last year and a half.
She worked full-time, helped her boyfriend move to Colorado when he was offered a new job, and managed to have a social life and get good grades.
Determination. Eyes focused on her dream. Hard work.
She did it.
Jacki Griffin, I am so Proud of you!
As I have always told her...I want to be Jacki when I grow up!
Dreams do come true; what is yours?
When you were growing up; did you want to be you?!

To learn more about me and what I do please go to my website at: www.sandygriffin.com and sign in for a free monthly newsletter.

And Friends are Friends Forever...

It's Thursday evening and I am sitting here taking a break from my packing to go to Los Angeles for 10 days. I checked my e-mail and I received a letter from Amsterdam, written and sent with love.

How do I know?



I have written in earlier e-mails about the wonderful friends I met from Holland - Angelica and Jerry.

Tonight I want to share them with you. They can become your family too.



Jerry and Angelica are both accomplished artists in Europe - he a pop singer and her a jazz singer.

BUT that is not where their strengths lie. Their warmth, humor and ability to give and receive love is the greatest gift that they shared with me when they were in Nashville.

Let me tell you how I met these incredible people that are entering your house tonight with this introduction.

I am a speaker and a life coach. I coach musicians (among other professionals and not-so-professional people, and I was downtown Nashville a month ago to support and encourage an artist that I had been helping.

The artist (with an award-winning singing voice) asked me to walk the tip jar around the tables to ask people to give. Of course I will - it gives me the opportunity to get to know every person in the establishment.

As I walked around I chatted with people at every table, found out where they were from, and why they were in Nashville.

As I approached one particular table, I asked the obviously-in-love beautiful couple where they were from, and they told me Amsterdam.

In all of my years of talking with people (which is all of my years!), I have never met anyone from Amsterdam. So I dug into the deep recesses of my mind to try to come up with something that I knew about Amsterdam - to connect us.

Ah! Anne Frank!

So I proceeded to tell them that the only thing I knew about their country was Anne.

Angelica replied, "Ah yes! Anne Frank in the little closet."

And then I commented that Anne's death was so untimely because one day later she would have been set free... ONE day!

Angelica looked right at me, waved her hand in the air and retorted, "Oh yes, but then she never would have had a bestseller!"

I burst into a fit of laughter that took on a life of its own, and Angelica sheepishly said, "THAT probably wasn't nice...but if she had lived she would have had a journal - just like everyone else!"

And that started the flood gates of love and laughter opening up.

One thing led to another and I asked them where they were staying, they told me, and then they got their belongings and moved into my house - and my heart! - for the next two days that they had planned on staying in Nashville, and added three glorious days to the stay!



You may wonder why we spent so much time together when they were just going to go back to their country anyway. We have no answer for that; only that the love was so evident and strong between us.

A couple of days before Ang (Miss Happy Hat...another story for another day!) and Jer (Mr. Happy Shorts) were moving on I mentioned that they don't have to hang around me; they can take their rental car and do whatever they want. I had given them a key to 'our' house...the house that God built!

Jerry looked me in the eye and said, "We are only going to be here with you for a couple more days. We want to stay as close to you as we can. We were talking today and we were saying to each other that 'we miss you already!" People I had only met days earlier!



We loved and laughed the days away: eating, laughing, sharing, dancing, meeting friends, touring Nashville. Jerry even had the opportunity to sing on two stages in Nashville - and boy is he good! - and he got a standing ovation in a crowded bar! That was a first for me to see!

We always made sure that we were in bed by 4 a.m....a couple of days...actually three in a row were pretty close to not making that curfew. We could not get enough of each other.



The day came for my new 'family' members to leave. I closed their fingers around the house key and told them to keep it on their key ring so they could have it when they came back. The house was theirs now too...they had come home!

We all stood in the front foyer with tears streaming down our faces as we soaked in one last look at each other, with Angelica in her cute style saying that they were going to send me a windmill, piece by piece, for my front yard!

And then they were gone, as the tears that had grown out of love, flowed down my cheeks, off of my chin, onto the brick porch on the front of my house.

My house is empty now, but my heart is so full.

People from so far away...loving in a language that is almost incomprehensible. As I pore over the 316 pictures I took in that seemingly short, but eternally long period of time that they danced through my life, I am aware that these two wonderful people have become my family...my family by choice...and will never be out of my heart.



I will see them, and I know that it will not be long. Amsterdam is calling to me as Nashville is calling to them. Thank God for technology because we are in close contact, and as impersonal as e-mail seems, the words sing when I read them from the monitor. And in that one click of the SEND button, Angelica and Jerry Givens (Griffin) are transported back into my/our house once again.



People from other churches? Cities? States? Countries?

Why get to know them? They live too far away!

Hearts are never far apart. Tear down the walls and let someone into your heart; someone that you would not have considered getting to know. And feel your heart grow! The miles will disappear....

Strangers are Friends, Just Waiting to Happen

It's early Monday morning and I got up early to go over the weekend and to thank God for everything good and (not-so-good) that had taken place.
When I recount all that had taken place in my life I am overwhelmed at how seemingly simple, yet so complex, life is.
I would like to share with you a bit of the good.
On Friday night our guest speaker, Michel (pronounced Michele) Neray, the National Speaker Association President from Toronto, Canada dined with Raeus (NSAT President) and I. That was just the beginning.
Michel spoke at our meeting on Saturday morning, and then he was going back with Raeus to Knoxville (2 1/2 hours away from Nashville) to see that part of Tennessee. THAT was the plan.
No one had anticipated the gas scare, and the escalating cost of gas that was to follow.
So Michel was stranded in Nashville, looking for things to do.
The stage: Nashville:
The actors: people who had met the night before OR were about to meet and become friends
The time: now and forever
Stage left. In walks Sandy
Since Nashville has become my stage I knew that I could be in this production.
On Saturday afternoon I met Michel on the main street in Nashville: Broadway. (Now he can honestly tell people that he was on Broadway in the United States).
Michel and I walked the length of the stage and met as many actors as we could. We watched musicians, chatted with them and admired their art. Some that I had met before shared their art with us and gave us their cd's as gifts.
We had fun BUT the best was yet to come.
We met up with my girlfriend Lane Brody (http://www.lanebrody.com/) to grab a bite to eat and then head back to Broadway. Or so we thought.
This stage: a cozy Greek restaurant called Yanni's; outside on the back porch that had a garden-like feel.
The food: delectable items that Lane ordered (she's Greek) with names that I cannot begin to pronounce.
The actors: Lane, Michel,; my girlfriends: Karen Shayne and Katie Combs and me
The climax of the evening: great conversation, friends, love
We sat on that stage for the duration of the evening; most everyone having met each other for the first time. But that didn't matter.
It was a perfect evening: wine, laughter, great food, friends who now consider each other family, and love
And the greatest of these is love.
We are such a fast-paced society that we feel like we have to keep going and everything that we do had to be on a grandeur scale. After a while the well is dry; we have nothing left to give.
But enter a stage with 'real' people and fill the well up one drop at a time: enjoy every chuckle, savor the taste of every bite of food, every sip of wine, store in your heart every look that passes between new friends that are now connected at the heart - regardless of demographics, touch the arm of your hard-working server, and just drink in the gift that you have been given.
My weekend might sound boring to the fast-paced, jet-setting group; to those that have the need to be in The Scene part of the newspaper. But to those that value connecting to others hearts...ahhh!
This weekend was a slice of heaven!


If you would like to walk on my journey with me, and learn more about who I am, please go to my website www.sandygriffin.com and sign up for my free newsletter and a free article.

Happy Make Your Bed Day!

I woke up this morning with the windows open, and the only sounds I can hear are the incessant chirping of the crickets. There is not a breeze but it is very comfortable here before the temperatures get near 90 today.
September 11th...National Make Your Bed Day!
I am not down playing the tragedy that paralyzed our world 7 years ago today. I spent time in my prayer room and prayed for the affected families and friends (that encompasses all of us somehow) and then I turned my prayers to thanksgiving.
Those of us that are living have the opportunity to enjoy this day. We are gifted with yet another day, another chance to make our mark in this world.
I was making my bed when I got up at 4:30 (heaven only knows why I woke up at the ungodly hour!)...and then I remembered that it was National Make Your Bed Day!
And a smile came to my face. And I made my bed.
Seven years ago our towers came down. But our spirits survived.
I am enjoying this day...I started out by putting in a CD of my Amsterdam friend, Jerry Given. You will be hearing so much about this pop phenomenon and his classy, jazz singer wife, Angelica, in future blogs I am sure. This is a couple that everyone should know, so I am going to introduce you to them and through the pages you will grow to love them like I do.
September 11th...I am going to honor the fallen and the injured from that fateful day by enjoying every moment of this day. I am going to appreciate every rain drop that falls today (we need it - to keep my flowers smiling!), I am going to smile at every person that passes me and I am going to drop a coin in every outstretched hand that reaches to me today. In honor of the heroes.