Jacki, my oldest daughter, and I were talking about the changes in this world and how much work it is to have a healthy relationship where two people can talk to each other, and work for solution instead of having to be 'right'.
The more we talked the more I realized that most people want to avoid conflict and when there is a teachable moment, it has become the norm to throw the relationship away!
This is a microwave society - "I want it and I want it NOW!" And we are a country where we throw away things that are broken, or are not perfect. And that seems to extend to people.
I have had so many girlfriends in my lifetime. And it seems that the more honest I am with them, the quicker they move onto other women who will tell them what they want to hear.
I recently confronted, in love, a friend about not being her word, not doing what she said she was going to do. She had nothing to say, and that was the end of the friendship, as we knew it.
I have made several attempts to contact her. Oh yes, she will answer the phone, but there is a coolness about her. She has not made any attempts to phone me. I tried to talk about love and how things will never be perfect between two people (afetr all, we are all human). She agreed and we both said that conflict is an oportunity to use the skills that we know, or are perfecting.
After we agreed to this I never heard from her again.
How can anyone be honest when they are so afraid of losing a frindship? Is it a real friendship if things are said and done, lacking the honest part? And what are we teaching our children?
We need to have mandatory communication classes in junior high. We are taught to add, cook, sew but NOT to get along with others or how to be coachable. Life skills...we never seem to have time for those.
Slow down and learn to listen and solve. This throw-away world is causing too much pain. Life is too short to be giving up good friends. Because only good friends will tell you the truth in love and honesty...and they are keepers!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Blessings and the Stock Market
I walked out to my Halloween decorated mailbox, reached my hand in to grab a bundle of bills, advertisements and letters.
On the way to the house I looked through the collection of mostly paper to be filed in the circular file. I saw an oversized envelope that boasted the return address from Morgan Stanley. Ah! My investment portfolio.
I have been opening them and putting them in my file without looking at the numbers that are slowly going downhill.
This day, with the stock market spiraling downward, I decided to sneak a peek at the numbers. Whoa! I was in for a real shock! I had lost $12,000 in one month! My spirit started to go down with the numbers on the page when I stood up and stopped myself.
What had changed from the moment that I had stepped outside to get the mail and the moment that I opened my large envelope?
Absolutely nothing! When I walked in the house the chocolate chip cookies that were baking in the over were still baking, the vacuum cleaner waiting to be used was still in the place that I had left it, the work to be entered into the computer was still waiting.
Nothing had changed and yet I was allowing numbers on a piece of paper to dictate my attitude.
Then it hit me. We are a country that is being paralyzed with fear. And we are allowing it! We grudgingly pay the rising food prices, cringe when we pull up to the gas pump, and then we sit around the table with friends and family and complain about the woes of the world.
There isn't anything that I can do about the stock market. But I can make a choice to forget about the numbers on that piece of paper in my mailbox with the return address from Morgan Stanley. Those numbers do not dictate the tone of my days, they do not scream to the world who I am. My net worth is not the human being I am.
The country's economic future may appear grim right now, but this too will pass. Until it does we owe it to the Dream Giver to thank Him for the gifts that He has blessed us with. And then give that piece of paper only the attention that it deserves...and appreciate the sound of every breath that you are able to take.
You can learn more about me when you visit mebsite: www.sandygriffin.com - remember to sign up for my newsletter!
On the way to the house I looked through the collection of mostly paper to be filed in the circular file. I saw an oversized envelope that boasted the return address from Morgan Stanley. Ah! My investment portfolio.
I have been opening them and putting them in my file without looking at the numbers that are slowly going downhill.
This day, with the stock market spiraling downward, I decided to sneak a peek at the numbers. Whoa! I was in for a real shock! I had lost $12,000 in one month! My spirit started to go down with the numbers on the page when I stood up and stopped myself.
What had changed from the moment that I had stepped outside to get the mail and the moment that I opened my large envelope?
Absolutely nothing! When I walked in the house the chocolate chip cookies that were baking in the over were still baking, the vacuum cleaner waiting to be used was still in the place that I had left it, the work to be entered into the computer was still waiting.
Nothing had changed and yet I was allowing numbers on a piece of paper to dictate my attitude.
Then it hit me. We are a country that is being paralyzed with fear. And we are allowing it! We grudgingly pay the rising food prices, cringe when we pull up to the gas pump, and then we sit around the table with friends and family and complain about the woes of the world.
There isn't anything that I can do about the stock market. But I can make a choice to forget about the numbers on that piece of paper in my mailbox with the return address from Morgan Stanley. Those numbers do not dictate the tone of my days, they do not scream to the world who I am. My net worth is not the human being I am.
The country's economic future may appear grim right now, but this too will pass. Until it does we owe it to the Dream Giver to thank Him for the gifts that He has blessed us with. And then give that piece of paper only the attention that it deserves...and appreciate the sound of every breath that you are able to take.
You can learn more about me when you visit mebsite: www.sandygriffin.com - remember to sign up for my newsletter!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Life on the 6th Avenue Benches!
The day was Sunday, my favorite day of the week. After running around like a hamster on a wheel all week I get to fill up my spirit on Sundays.
I woke up to sunny skies and birds chirping. I jumped out of bed and did my daily necessary-hygiene-but-not-liking-it types of duties. I had slept in and felt a bit rushed. After all, the yearly Southern Book Fair was on the plaza today. I didn't want to miss out on a minute of it.
As I drove into downtown Nashville and neared Legislative Plaza I started to get excited. I've lived in the Music City for 2 years and have not had a chance to experience the Fair before this year. As I got closer to my destination I was thrilled that there were not cars lining the streets; I was going to get a parking spot that was close to the plaza. Ah! Life is good.
After I parked in the 'Rock Star' spot I noticed that the booths with the books and authors were still covered with their tarps. I saw the Book Fair information sign and then I realized - I was two hours early!
Okay, what was I supposed to do? Drive back home? Find a coffee shop and have a cup of java? Recline my car seat and try to take a nap - wait! I had only been awake for two hours!
I opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk on 6th Street. After growing up in Minnesota and spending the 20 years before I moved to the Volunteer State, in Chicago, the long-into-fall day that greeted me was an unexpected gift. The warm, 90degree air that enveloped me made for a picture-perfect day.
As I locked my car door and looked around, I saw the homeless men that I feed on the Sundays that I am in town, occupying their self-appointed benches. That was it - I was handed a golden opportunity to share with these men.
I approached David, a burly black man with a smile that could land planes. His face lit up the moment he spotted me. We may not have exchanged names before, but we had touched hearts. He greeted me and invited me to sit on the half of the bench that he was not occupying. In that moment the rest of the world disappeared. I did not notice any other people on the street, and the odor of unclean clothes and a body denied of a shower were non-existent. It was two fellow human beings doing life together.
I asked questions, very gently. What surprised me was David's hunger to talk and tell his story. We talked about his lost dreams of what he wanted to be when he grew up, the family that deserted him when he needed them, life on the streets and the family that had grown out of his hunger for community.
After I finished chatting and praying with David I walked to another bench and recognized Woody, and then onto Carl. I spent time with both of these beautiful souls that had so much to share, and yet were tossed away by society. We laughed, we took pictures, we exchanged e-mail addresses. Yes, they check their e-mail when they are in the library at the end of the block. It amazed me how well read these men are. The common denominator between all three men was that they all love sports. I felt a sudden sadness as I wondered if they would ever get the chance again to attend sporting events with their limited resources.
These men are amazing: they read all day long, they are in touch with nature, they encourage each other, they do life together.
I finally walked to the Book Fair and felt that I had just been handed the greatest gift of all. I did not treat it lightly that these men had shared their stories with me. It was an honor. And to let them know how much I care for them I bought them $6.79 sandwiches at the Fair. Nothing was too good for these children of God.
I walked back and handed them my meager offerings. They smiled through their toothless lips and I witnessed as their hearts encompassed their faces. In that instant I knew I was in the presence of Jesus. I was given a gift that no one can ever take back from me.
I drove home after the Book Fair, the fair that I soon came to realize was the vehicle to get me to my new friends. As I passed the extravagant houses on my way home I wondered how many of these homes had the community, the laughter, the love that I experienced between that family on 6th Avenue. These men are living together, while America watches the disconnect that has families living silently in the same dwellings.
Today I glimpsed a bit of heaven on earth, and I got to be a part of it. I was expecting to spend the day getting filled up with books. There was a different plan at work here, in the same way that the expectations of my fellow human beings had taken a different turn than they had expected. When they were growing up they had dreams just like I did. Our expectations and well-laid plans don't always (maybe hardly ever?!) turn out the way we map out.
I will be visiting my 'brothers' next Sunday, but this time when I bring them a meal, I will gift myself with the time to break bread with them. I have found new family members the day I thought I was merely going to a Book Fair!
To learn more about me or to sign up for my monthly newsletter, please take a peek at my website: www.sandygriffin.com
I woke up to sunny skies and birds chirping. I jumped out of bed and did my daily necessary-hygiene-but-not-liking-it types of duties. I had slept in and felt a bit rushed. After all, the yearly Southern Book Fair was on the plaza today. I didn't want to miss out on a minute of it.
As I drove into downtown Nashville and neared Legislative Plaza I started to get excited. I've lived in the Music City for 2 years and have not had a chance to experience the Fair before this year. As I got closer to my destination I was thrilled that there were not cars lining the streets; I was going to get a parking spot that was close to the plaza. Ah! Life is good.
After I parked in the 'Rock Star' spot I noticed that the booths with the books and authors were still covered with their tarps. I saw the Book Fair information sign and then I realized - I was two hours early!
Okay, what was I supposed to do? Drive back home? Find a coffee shop and have a cup of java? Recline my car seat and try to take a nap - wait! I had only been awake for two hours!
I opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk on 6th Street. After growing up in Minnesota and spending the 20 years before I moved to the Volunteer State, in Chicago, the long-into-fall day that greeted me was an unexpected gift. The warm, 90degree air that enveloped me made for a picture-perfect day.
As I locked my car door and looked around, I saw the homeless men that I feed on the Sundays that I am in town, occupying their self-appointed benches. That was it - I was handed a golden opportunity to share with these men.
I approached David, a burly black man with a smile that could land planes. His face lit up the moment he spotted me. We may not have exchanged names before, but we had touched hearts. He greeted me and invited me to sit on the half of the bench that he was not occupying. In that moment the rest of the world disappeared. I did not notice any other people on the street, and the odor of unclean clothes and a body denied of a shower were non-existent. It was two fellow human beings doing life together.
I asked questions, very gently. What surprised me was David's hunger to talk and tell his story. We talked about his lost dreams of what he wanted to be when he grew up, the family that deserted him when he needed them, life on the streets and the family that had grown out of his hunger for community.
After I finished chatting and praying with David I walked to another bench and recognized Woody, and then onto Carl. I spent time with both of these beautiful souls that had so much to share, and yet were tossed away by society. We laughed, we took pictures, we exchanged e-mail addresses. Yes, they check their e-mail when they are in the library at the end of the block. It amazed me how well read these men are. The common denominator between all three men was that they all love sports. I felt a sudden sadness as I wondered if they would ever get the chance again to attend sporting events with their limited resources.
These men are amazing: they read all day long, they are in touch with nature, they encourage each other, they do life together.
I finally walked to the Book Fair and felt that I had just been handed the greatest gift of all. I did not treat it lightly that these men had shared their stories with me. It was an honor. And to let them know how much I care for them I bought them $6.79 sandwiches at the Fair. Nothing was too good for these children of God.
I walked back and handed them my meager offerings. They smiled through their toothless lips and I witnessed as their hearts encompassed their faces. In that instant I knew I was in the presence of Jesus. I was given a gift that no one can ever take back from me.
I drove home after the Book Fair, the fair that I soon came to realize was the vehicle to get me to my new friends. As I passed the extravagant houses on my way home I wondered how many of these homes had the community, the laughter, the love that I experienced between that family on 6th Avenue. These men are living together, while America watches the disconnect that has families living silently in the same dwellings.
Today I glimpsed a bit of heaven on earth, and I got to be a part of it. I was expecting to spend the day getting filled up with books. There was a different plan at work here, in the same way that the expectations of my fellow human beings had taken a different turn than they had expected. When they were growing up they had dreams just like I did. Our expectations and well-laid plans don't always (maybe hardly ever?!) turn out the way we map out.
I will be visiting my 'brothers' next Sunday, but this time when I bring them a meal, I will gift myself with the time to break bread with them. I have found new family members the day I thought I was merely going to a Book Fair!
To learn more about me or to sign up for my monthly newsletter, please take a peek at my website: www.sandygriffin.com
Panic or Praise: Focus Your Eyes on What You Want To See
At 6:00 this morning it was still dark when I put on a light sweater and I closed the door behind me to begin my day. I was walking at a fast pace through the neighborhood, collecting the peace in my heart that I was going to need to face the rigors of the new day/week.
The peace in my heart was being disturbed by the appearance of new 'For Sale' signs on the front lawns of houses in my neighborhood. My mind started to go down the path of sadness; wondering about the families in each of these houses and agonizing about what their situations might be. I sent a prayer up for them as I passed the houses with the signs.
I was wondering, "Were they moving to a place that was a better fit for them? Was this a happy move? Was divorce involved? Bankruptcy? Foreclosure in the future? Would the kids have to change schools? Would a new president be a blessing to this country?"
I had not even realized that my peaceful mind had gone to a place that was not so content. My early morning connect-with-God walk and talk was not what I had set out for any more. I was hurting for the stories behind the walls, I was feeling the stress of the economy of the country, I had taken on the problems of the world - and it was starting to feel heavy.
Then...right then - across the lawn of an already-deserted brick home, under the crooked For Sale sign, ran a little bunny; a rabbit seemingly so happy with not a care in the world.
And the irony of all that is happening hit me - right in the heart.
WE are not in control. God did not wake up this morning and say to himself, "Oh No! I slept last night and during that time the world went crazy. What am I going to do now?"
God knew that all of this craziness was going to occur. He even allowed it. Now it is the time to keep our eyes on the light and be still. Listen to what He has to say to us. And do not be afraid. There is nothing to fear, for He is with us always.
That bunny...hopping under the For Sale sign...showed me the presence of the Dream Giver, the Master.
Do we worry about the brick and mortar, or do we trust the One who created the bunny hopping under the sign, on the blades of green grass that began as ONE single seed and grew up into a proud blade of grass? Can we trust someone who can do a miracle like that?
I lightly took the next step on my morning journey inside of my peaceful heart and looked around for all of the things to be thankful for, and the gifts far outweighed the challenges: the sun starting to peek over the mountains, the flowers that are still in bloom in October, the smell of bacon wafting out of the window of a household getting ready to face the new day, the vehicles in the driveways that would be transporting people to their destinations today, the symphony of the birds that were giving me a concert for free, the distant bark of a dog that is bringing joy to a family.
As I was counting the blessings the bunny ran in front of me...ah, a reminder of WHO and WHAT is really important in this life.
The peace in my heart was being disturbed by the appearance of new 'For Sale' signs on the front lawns of houses in my neighborhood. My mind started to go down the path of sadness; wondering about the families in each of these houses and agonizing about what their situations might be. I sent a prayer up for them as I passed the houses with the signs.
I was wondering, "Were they moving to a place that was a better fit for them? Was this a happy move? Was divorce involved? Bankruptcy? Foreclosure in the future? Would the kids have to change schools? Would a new president be a blessing to this country?"
I had not even realized that my peaceful mind had gone to a place that was not so content. My early morning connect-with-God walk and talk was not what I had set out for any more. I was hurting for the stories behind the walls, I was feeling the stress of the economy of the country, I had taken on the problems of the world - and it was starting to feel heavy.
Then...right then - across the lawn of an already-deserted brick home, under the crooked For Sale sign, ran a little bunny; a rabbit seemingly so happy with not a care in the world.
And the irony of all that is happening hit me - right in the heart.
WE are not in control. God did not wake up this morning and say to himself, "Oh No! I slept last night and during that time the world went crazy. What am I going to do now?"
God knew that all of this craziness was going to occur. He even allowed it. Now it is the time to keep our eyes on the light and be still. Listen to what He has to say to us. And do not be afraid. There is nothing to fear, for He is with us always.
That bunny...hopping under the For Sale sign...showed me the presence of the Dream Giver, the Master.
Do we worry about the brick and mortar, or do we trust the One who created the bunny hopping under the sign, on the blades of green grass that began as ONE single seed and grew up into a proud blade of grass? Can we trust someone who can do a miracle like that?
I lightly took the next step on my morning journey inside of my peaceful heart and looked around for all of the things to be thankful for, and the gifts far outweighed the challenges: the sun starting to peek over the mountains, the flowers that are still in bloom in October, the smell of bacon wafting out of the window of a household getting ready to face the new day, the vehicles in the driveways that would be transporting people to their destinations today, the symphony of the birds that were giving me a concert for free, the distant bark of a dog that is bringing joy to a family.
As I was counting the blessings the bunny ran in front of me...ah, a reminder of WHO and WHAT is really important in this life.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Lauren: Gift to the World!
My baby is going to be 22 years old on Saturday! As I like to tell her, that is the day that she came out of the 'womb with a view'.
What is so hard about seeing our babies grow up? Is it that THEY are getting older, OR that WE are getting older too?
I sat across the table from Lauren today at lunch, and as I watched her nibble on a salad I started to wander back in my mind's eye to the moment that I found out that I was pregnant. I was so excited!
Then came the frightening words a couple of weeks later, "You have cancer cells."
Through the long, agonizing pregnancy, praying that this gift of a baby girl would enter the world with a wail and a smile, I delivered Lauren Michelle Griffin to the waiting world. The miracle baby had arrived and blessed the world!
And what a treat she has been, this bundle of energy with the bright red hair.
My baby. 22. Wow!
Where did the time go?
I remember hearing 'older' people say that when I was younger, and I thought it was exaggerated...until my kids grew up.
Childhood DOES come with an expiration date. I didn't buy an extended warranty. I can't buy back time. Lauren's childhood expired and she has entered ADULTHOOD.
My young lady will be 22 on Saturday and I could not be any prouder of the person that she has grown into...the person that is finding something new in herself every day, the person who delights in the mishaps that happen to her that make great stories, the woman who cries when she sees someone else crying, laughs until she cries when the other person is doing the same - over something so silly, and loves in a way that few people can boast.
The baby/young woman is having a birthday. Happy day beautiful child of God! You have been a gift to the world!
To find out more about me and what I do please go to my website: www.sandygriffin.com
Sign in to receive a free monthly newsletter.
What is so hard about seeing our babies grow up? Is it that THEY are getting older, OR that WE are getting older too?
I sat across the table from Lauren today at lunch, and as I watched her nibble on a salad I started to wander back in my mind's eye to the moment that I found out that I was pregnant. I was so excited!
Then came the frightening words a couple of weeks later, "You have cancer cells."
Through the long, agonizing pregnancy, praying that this gift of a baby girl would enter the world with a wail and a smile, I delivered Lauren Michelle Griffin to the waiting world. The miracle baby had arrived and blessed the world!
And what a treat she has been, this bundle of energy with the bright red hair.
My baby. 22. Wow!
Where did the time go?
I remember hearing 'older' people say that when I was younger, and I thought it was exaggerated...until my kids grew up.
Childhood DOES come with an expiration date. I didn't buy an extended warranty. I can't buy back time. Lauren's childhood expired and she has entered ADULTHOOD.
My young lady will be 22 on Saturday and I could not be any prouder of the person that she has grown into...the person that is finding something new in herself every day, the person who delights in the mishaps that happen to her that make great stories, the woman who cries when she sees someone else crying, laughs until she cries when the other person is doing the same - over something so silly, and loves in a way that few people can boast.
The baby/young woman is having a birthday. Happy day beautiful child of God! You have been a gift to the world!
To find out more about me and what I do please go to my website: www.sandygriffin.com
Sign in to receive a free monthly newsletter.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Blessings From The Gas Crunch
"What if we run out of gas?"
"How are we going to get places?"
What about our vacation?"
My second daughter, Katie, called last week and we were talking about the current state of this country gone wild. It seems that overnight our stability - what little we were feeling - was shaken and leaving us feeling a bit insecure of our future.
Katie is 24 years old and lives in Chicago. She is a caseworker for the mentally challenged, and loves people. Katie is a servant.
After we whined about the cost of a gallon of gas in our respective states, Katie voiced a well thought out insight.
"Mom, I think this so-called gas shortage is all a gift from God."
"HUH?"
"Think about it for a minute, Mom. There is no disputing that the ozone layer is disappearing. One of the culprits is from gas being emitted into the atmosphere. Now people are not driving as much because it is affecting their wallets, not even thinking about the ozone layer, but it is slowing down the deterioration of the ozone.
Not only that, but families are living alone together and are not gathering around the table much any more. But with the gas scare, people are thinking twice about the unnecessary trips they are taking in their vehicles, and are staying at home more. They are spending more time in their homes - with their families."
"Can't you see, Mom? THIS is all part of God's divine plan!"
Listening to my daughter see God's hand in this time of fear, and recognize that it is a loving hand, made me want to kneel down and cry.
There is no doubt that the country is paralyzed by fear.
But what can we do about it?
There are many things.
We can enjoy what we do have, the gifts that are given to us free of charge.
When you wake up in the morning and open the blinds, say a loud prayer for the gift of another day, another breath, a window to look out at the world through.
Greet a stranger and show them the beauty - the true beauty - of this world that will transcend into the next.
Give a gas card to someone that is struggling with finances, despite your own worries, and feel the warmth spread through your body and land in your heart to reside.
Turn off the TV, close the newspaper, hug your family for no reason at all.
Our economy has survived worse shake-ups that this. This is a part of history that will a story in the future. Do all the good that you can to help alleviate others fears and watch as yours fall off of you, and peace fills your soul.
When you fill up with gas the next time, give the rising prices only the attention that it deserves. And that is a small, swift kick to the tires and then a prayer for the blessings.
Thank you Katie for unveiling the blessings that we allowed to blind us; to the beauty of this season!
The earth and disconnected families will forever be grateful for the gift of the 'gas scare'.
Make sure you visit my website at www.sandygriffin.com and sign up for my free newsletter and teleclass.
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