I lifted up the phone out of its cradle as it shrilled in the late afternoon yesterday.
"Hello, Sandy Griffin? This is Centennial Hospital. Your mammogram report...you have lumps in both breasts."
When the nurse with the gentle voice on the other end inquired on availability to make a followup appointment I hesitated and made it for two weeks from now.
I hung up the phone and stood, paralyzed by the words that were spoken so routinely.
My first reaction was to ignore the call, act as though they never really called.
Darn! Why did I answer it? Why didn't I let it go to voicemail?
I immediately went into the yard and mowed the lawn. I guess I was trying to control and take care of what I was able to take care of.
After I finished and the yard looked great I went inthe house and cried. Now what?
I called the hospital and made an appointment sooner. The still-kind nurse said it is real coomon for women to want to hang up and think - or not think - about the words that were spoken.
I rescheduled my appointment for two days later and sat down and cried.
"Oh God, I have done so little with this life you have given me. Tell me what to do, let me know what your will is, and then let me step into it."
A day and a half later it is amazing the plethora of thoughts and emotions that have been going through my head.
In this short time I have evaluated my life, my actions and what I still want to accomplish. I have drawn closer to my girlfriends, and they have been phenomenal. They truly have exemplified family to me. They have been a big hug in this game of life.
The words, "Sandy you have lumps" may just be the words that I needed to hear to realize I have the life I always dreamed about. Work, friends and love - thank you God!