Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Buried Dreams

I met with a wonderful young couple from Belmont University last night. I had met this young man two years ago and loved he and his family. Now he has a charming girlfriend to add to the mix.
It was so refreshing to listen to young people who are not tainted by life; who want to live out their hearts desires.
As we talked they told about their journeys to stay true to self; how as adults we try to tell them what is right for them. It was apparent that they were fighting against the voices of well-meaning adults who may have missed out on their dreams and were putting their hopes and dreams on the young.
The honesty that came from the hearts at Starbucks last night: they don't have all of the answers, they don't NEED all of the answers yet; they want to be happy in their lives and if that is working and making less than their parents did - that is okay; they want to follow their life's path.
I saw the innocence in their faces, I saw hope, I saw honesty.
For a moment I felt a twinge of regret. For the dreams that I allowed to be buried for so many years, for the times that I sold out for things that made sense to others, for 'lost' years.
Then I looked up and was reminded of the good that came from every one of those decisions, the people that I met along the way, and the lessons that I learned.
I dropped to my knees and said a prayer of thanks!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Yesterday's Painful Lessons - Today's Perfect Gift

I woke up Saturday and the sun was shining. Oh, this was going to be a good day! I laid in bed and thought about family and friends. Let me explain that lately I have been questioning my role in Nashville, being away from family and my friends. I am appreciating the special people in my life, the precious times and the too-few times with family.
And a dull ache moved in, turned into a massive hole, and caught me off-guard with the emptiness. I turned introspective, cried, laughed, and then cried some more.
Thank God for friends that love unconditionally. Thank God for the too-busy girlfriend who showed up at my door with three flowers (representing the Father, Son and Holy Spirit she told me...so I didn't feel alone). What a blessing my non-biological mom was, as I talked with her on the phone and felt so close to her, even though she was 500 miles away; but really tucked inside my heart.
Saturday was a painfully long day.
Today I look back and unwrap the gifts from that day. Friends, family, lessons, change, new direction...wow! The day that I was thinking was a waste of a day, was a day wrapped in blessings! Gifts many times come wrapped in pain. Take every part of the gift and use it for God's glory. He knows what he is doing...and it is all done in love beyond our comprehension.
On Saturday I thought the day would never end. Today I looked at the blessings, and realize the day was exactly as long as it needed to be.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Love in a Box

Each day has so many blessings - if we just look for them!
Today started out as any other ordinary day. I woke up, answered emails, made appointments, and met a colleague for brainstorming.
Wow! The session that we had went a whole different direction, and we just followed it. By the end of the meeting we both looked at each other in amazement, and then looked up to the facilitator.
The blessings started when we arrived at the library to secure a Study Room to meet in. The rooms were all being used, so we improvised and sat on a bench outside. What we didn't realize was that brainstorming outside, without any walls or volume level in place, our creative juices had no limits.
Blessing #1.
I stopped at Office Depot to fax a document to my insurance agent. When all four pages were successfully in my agent's office, the manager of Office Depot (who I don't know by name but recognize his face) handed them to me, asked me if that was all needed, and when I told him it was, he winked and told me to have a good day.
The blessing had nothing to do with saving on the cost of the fax; the blessing was that someone cared to treat me to an unexpected surprise. Blessing #2.
When I arrived home the mailman was at my door dropping off boxes. Since I didn't remember ordering anything, I was curious.
BIG time blessing! People that I had met on facebook and at conferences had mailed books, shirts, food, toys, toiletries to help the flood victims in Nashville. I opened boxes from two different cities in Florida, Ohio, California and Oklahoma. With each box came unspeakable love. People giving to people they had never met, just because they care. THEN I opened my mail and there were gift cards from all over for restaurants, WalMart, Target and grocery stores. I just say down, thanked God for providing for people less fortunate than these precious people. And I cried with joy. Blessing upon blessing today.
For people that complain about this selfish world, look around! Love is all around. You merely have to open your eyes and focus on it!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Beauty of the Flood

To the outside world the flood in Tennessee were merely a disaster: houses completely destroyed, belongings floating to the unknown, memories tossed in the garbage heap, lives turned upside down in the muddy waters.
To the people going through this experience it is a gift wrapped up in tragedy. It is community, it is hope. It is people working long hours to do all they can for people they just met. It is hearing the words, "This is the best experience of my life" from a woman who lost most of her life collection and shelter. It is people living life the way that has Jesus smiling.
The stories of the flood waters are being replaced with stories of strangers becoming friends, homes being opened up in complete trust, teenagers handing out bottles of cold water to volunteers, hugs being shared regardless of the smells emanating from tired bodies, love passing in the glances between people who will never forget what real love is.
The flood brought floods of love, emotion and people crawling out of their own self-absorbed worlds. It flooded hearts that have been hardened by life, with hope. It made friends of people who would have never met. Aww...what they would have missed out on!
The floods...what a gift!
The disasters in life - are they merely challenges wrapped in love, waiting for, not strangers, but friends that have not yet met, to gather together and do life together - the way it was designed to be?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Nashville Floods - The Best Days of my Life

The waters have receded, many businesses have re-opened, houses are smelling of mold and,many people have never been happier in their lives.
On Tuesday I served alongside of members of Journey Church as we helped a couple move into their small apartment, after leaving their waterlogged home.
I arrived at their home to see three pastors and countless others loading furniture and personal belongings to the line of waiting trucks and SUV's. There was sweat, laughing and tears as the community of volunteers worked side-by-side.
The couple whose home had been ravaged by storm waters were laughing and joining in with the celebration of community.
Their story is like countless others in Nashville: flood waters in home, personal items destroyed, memories thrown away before the mold sets in.
Like many others the smiles on their faces are a result of the love that emerges with the rising waters. Nothing could destroy the spirit of community that emerged from the waters.
On Tuesday I experienced the resiliency of the human spirit. I saw joy and love sparkle in the eyes of people who were left with so little, and felt richer than they ever had.
The couple who had lost so much told me their story, not unlike so many others: water, destruction, strangers, community, love.
Alice continued to tell of a church member walking by, asking what they needed help with. That night she and her husband were spending the night - and subsequent nights - in the home of someone she had never met before, receiving help from, people who wanted nothing in return, watching their belongings being loaded in trucks from people who wanted no recognition, laughing and loving with hearts they would never forget.
When I was leaving, all of the belongings wiped down outside and brought safely into their small, clean apartment; I hugged and Sally, and with tears in her eyes she whispered, "This has been the best experience of my life."
I stepped back.
The dreaded words: flood waters, devastation, insurance, FEMA had been replaced with: community, caring, strangers connected at the heart, love.
I looked into Sally's tear-filled eyes that sparkled with an excitement about life, people, humanity and I saw what she was seeing. The vehicles that were pulling away from the apartment complex, with promises to return when they moved back into their house months from now, were all being driven by God. That WOULD make it the best experience of a lifetime.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Graduation and Contemplation

My daughter, Lauren, is graduating from college today. My baby. I sit at my computer listening to the sounds of birds chirping, breezes blowing in the open windows, and contemplate how quickly life moves on, taking us with it whether we are ready for life's storms and celebrations or not. We are along for the wildly exciting, often mystifying, ride of our lives.
Life happens. Ready or not, here it comes.
One week ago I was in my dry house thinking about the too-busy weekend that was coming up. I was maybe even a little annoyed at God for the hint of rain that was going to possibly interrupt my perfect, much-earned, fun weekend.
When the gentle rains started I chose to stay home the first night; after all the next day was the packed every-hour day of fun, starting immediately after church.
And then I awoke on Sunday to a day that was not in my control any more.
I turned on the TV and heard the news.
No church. Malls closed. Rivers rising. People drowning. Stay inside.
At that moment I realized that the lives we had been living, feeling very much in control, were taken out of our hands, and put back in God's. The life that we thought had been so well orchestrated by ME. Every appointment, every thing on my to-do list, every well-planned event was taken out of my hands.
I was NOT in control and the only thing I could do was go along with the Master plan.
This past week gave me a feeling of purpose that no regular job can give. I gave my life to the Potter this week and gave my all, and received so much more in return.
I emptied water out of strangers - who became family through tragedy - homes that had become mere shells of the house they remembered from deep in the recesses of their minds from a long two days ago. I slipped with fellow volunteers on the floors of numb homeowners as they mumbled almost incoherently, "I lost everything...what am I going to do?" I hugged, I laughed, I cried, I was alive.
I was feeling more alive in the aftermath of the destruction I had no answers. I only had love.I felt more alive than I had for years. The author of my life story had written this storm, and I knew I was playing the part now that He had written for me. Every person has their part in His story.
Today my daughter will be waking up and leaving the safety net of school, and facing the BIG world waiting for her. Her part in the Creator's story has been written; He has allowed her to be part of it. I want to tell her to give up trying to plan every detail of her life. I want her to take time to love others, but take time to love herself. I want to tell her to step back and move out of her own way - her life has been written in His big book of Life. I want to warn her to slow down,serve well, laugh a lot, love even more. And when the storms of life come - and they will - to get down on her knees and ask God what her part in His story is. And then go along with it. Because Father knows best!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Nashville - More Than Just a Flood

My knees ache, my wrists are sore, I probably smell like mold; and I have never felt more content in my life.
Nashville's flooding is so much more than lost belongings, lost homes and displaced people. This past week has been about LIFE, the way it was meant to be.
I have been walking alongside of some of the most amazing people I had never met. Trina. Cecilia. Wendy. David. Chad. Ben. Gary.I may never know their last names, but their faces are forever embedded on my heart.
We slopped through sludge, prayed with people who couldn't understand us yet looked at us with complete understanding of our prayers, huddled together to cry as a flood victim wailed as her memories were being thrown to the curbside.
Watching the news on TV that is being reported to the rest of the world tells just a snippet of the story.
The real story is about the heroes - the flood victims that are walking to their neighbors to see what they need, the churches and individuals that are cruising through neighbors desperate to help and give any way they are able, the churches that are giving tirelessly because there is a need.
I spoke to volunteers who are going back to people they helped, just to check up on them, say hello, or to bring a shoe store gift card to a woman who loves shoes and lost them all, checking upon fellow volunteers to make sure they are okay, delivering pizzas donated for volunteers by a local pizza parlor, housing people who have no homes.
Nashville is filled with heroes...they may never be on TV, no one knows their names but they are filling up the city.
As you watch the news look beyond the words. Look into the heart of Nashville. People come to visit Nashville for the music and the conventions; they come back for the community and love.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

After the rains - the rainbow

I served the flood victims again yesterday.
Trina Carter and I stopped at Johnnie Griffin's House (no relation) to see how she was doing, and to pray with her.
The difference in her demeanor in a mere 24 hours was amazing!
The previous day we encountered a sad, beaten, numb, how-can-I-go-on-with-life attitude. Rightfully so.
We dug in and helped her, her sister and brother-in-law, and nephew empty water and rotten foods out of the refrigerator. Water from the floods actually filled up the bottom bins!
We emptied cabinets, drawers, threw away her whole 69 years of life, as she stood with her shoulders slumped and tears streaming down her face. We prayed with her as she looked at her deceased husband's chair being dragged to the street to add to the pile of dirt; so intent on telling us how much he loved that chair. As if the chair would miraculously repair itself, dry out and restore itself to its former charm, if only we knew its meaning.
More people from our church arrived and we dragged out mattresses, clothes, papers and memories; working like worker bees as Johnnie's shoulders fell further down. When asked a question about what to do with something, she would look up with apathetic eyes, as if to say, "Help me. I can't make any more decisions. I don't know what to do any more, I don't know how to go on with this challenge life has thrown at me."
Yesterday we drove up to her house with all of the furniture sitting on her front lawn, and people helping to get it ready for storage. Storage for antique furniture that was still wet and damaged, but Johnnie was not ready to part with it yet. She had to try to save as many pieces from her before-the-flood life as she could.
But there was something different. As we approached Johnnie who had a cell to her ear, she spotted us and her eyes lit up.
"I have to go. My friends are here."
In that short span of time, amidst tragedy, we had become friends. Now Trina and I had tears in our eyes.
Johnnie grabbed our hands and pulled us into the house. The empty house - devoid of any furniture, carpet, signs that love had lived there; a house that had only water on the floor and memories removed.
But Johnnie. Her eyes sparkled.
When Trina and I and our teams had left the day before, two more teams from our church moved in. They did not leave until they completed the big task in front of them. They gave to Johnnie more than her heart could comprehend. They gave Johnnie hope and love.
She bubbled how the Journey church took care of her, that God cleaned out her house. She told us about her belongings, the people, the National Guard. But mostly she talked about the giving, the love. She talked about hope. Given by people she had never met. People who gave so unselfishly, because they cared for a hurting heart.
'Jesus with skin'.
Johnnie. Hope. Working side-by-side amidst the sludge and sewage. Aching legs. Burning eyes. Breaking hearts.
And then from a woman we had met the day before, "I have to go. My friends are here.
That made every ache worth it!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Angels in Wet Clothing

Rain. Water, Fires. Devastation. Nashville, Somehow this does not all add up. When the weatherman said that Nashville had 100% chance of rain last weekend I was bummed...the picnic that we had planned was going to be ruined. The picnic ended up being the smallest part of the plan. The devastation that was to follow was depressing, sad, filled with community and love!
On Saturday and Sunday as the rains pelted from the skies I watched as my front yard filled up with pockets of water.
"Oh No! It is going to wash out my new grass seed." That was my biggest concern.
When the rains stopped, and I ventured outside of my door...what greeted me was more than my heart could take in.
Water, homes completely destroyed, spirits dampened, community gathering in shock.
Working with people to clean out their houses; amidst sewage, water, ticks, and more has been almost more than I can take in.
The community is what God had in mind. This has leveled the playing field and we are all one in Nashville. The millionaires are pumping out water for people they have never met, while everyone looks the same and smells the same. No one cares what anyone else does as they form assembly lines to get furniture and possessions out of houses waterlogged and filled with sludge.
Look around and you are destined to see people huddled in groups praying before they enter houses; homeowners and strangers hugging while one hangs on for dear life - and hope; tears streaming down faces as lives are thrown in the dumpster without any time to disconnect from the emotion.
Nashville will recover...and be stronger, closer, and more loving because of this unexpected, and cannot-be-prepared-for devastation. Years from now people here will be talking about the flood of 2010 - when love showed up at every house.
Nashville - community, caring, togetherness - the music continues!