The Christmas Gifts in Front of us

Christmas - family, friends, food, laughter, presents, noise, excitement, anxiety, tempers, baggage, different personalities, disappointment, sadness, learning.

When I was growing up in Minnesota - in a rather large family of 12 kids and 2 parents - I just knew that Christmas meant noise, very few presents (no one has enough money to satisfy the hunger for gifts for that many people!), food and chaos.
When I got on my own, married and had kids I overdid Christmas. Oh yes, there was noise, but there were too many presents, too much food and way too much busyness. I was making up for what I thought I lost in the Christmases of years gone by; trying to fill the hole that I imagined was there from childhood. I enjoyed doing it ALL, but until this year I missed out on many of the manger's gifts.
Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, the most important person in my life. But somehow that moved in behind the hustle and bustle of life.

Jacki and Tim, Katie and Lauren, my three daughters and the token boyfriend that could come to Nashville for the holidays, were together these past days. And somehow I was feeling that through all of my preparation and decoration, this was falling short of a Norman Rockwell Christmas. I couldn't understand how my well-laid plans were not the way I envisioned this season of sugarplums that danced in my head.
All of the ingredients were there. The recipe consisted of presents, food, lots of friends and tension.
I didn't order the tension, that was not in the instructions of this perfect time together. But nonetheless, the tension was present and took on a life of its own.
And then I got it. As much as I wanted to point the finger at someone else; I was the originator of the tautness of emotions around my own home.
Me!! The communicator of all time. I teach this stuff...and yet I was wallowing in it.

I woke up today, that day after Christmas, and in a few short minutes it was as if my faults and shortcomings were being unveiled right in front of my own heart. Well, some of them anyway!
I couldn't wait for my girls to spend this time with me,meet my friends, spend time with my friends and share all of my time. After all, they are on my turf, right?
Then, in the early morning darkness, the truth was brought to light.
I wanted them to meet my friends, I wanted them to embrace my life, I wanted them to share me and accept all of the people that I brought into my heart and life.
And I could see as clear as can be that my recipe for life did not have the same ingredients that theirs did.
I woke them up in the early morning light and shared my aching heart with them. I cheated them out of ME, and I robbed myself of the gift of time to spend with these wonderful ladies that had come to Nashville to love, laugh and spend time together.
I have so many people in my life - I want everyone to meet and get to know my girls. I did not take the time to find out if my girls wanted to get to know everyone I know. I opened the door to all, and in doing so, closed the door to the family unit. The message I silently sent to the most important people on this earth to me, was that they are important - like my good friends; instead of focusing on them and letting my actions show that they - and time spent with them - is the greatest gift of all. I fell short in this part of the gift giving this year.
I gave presents, I gave great food, I gave my friends - but I shorted them on the greatest gift of all...the gift of time, the gift of laughter, the gift of each other.
My greatest gift this Christmas - the lessons that were revealed to me this morning as I unwrapped the disappointment and pain of the Christmas that fell short of my dreams and left me able to throw away the wrappings of the past and embrace the future, more cognizant of my girls tender feelings before.
It is never too late to look under the Christmnas tree of life, look at the gifts right in front of us and embrace this moment,our present.

The Comfort of the Night

I am sitting here at my computer at 4:00 a.m. and I am feeling peaceful and wide-awake. My daughter Lauren is asleep in the house and there is only the clicking sound of the tapping of the computer keys.
At the end of any day - good or bad -there is a welcome respite in closing ones eyes and mind off from the hum of the rest of the world and putting the day to rest.
Have you ever noticed that the sounds of the day are like fuel to our minds? We put our foot on the accelerator of our days and we move ahead, many times pushing down the gas pedal out of sheer frustration, moving ahead but not going anywhere important.
There are times I lie in bed and recap the day that was just taken from me, or rather, the day that I rushed right through and didn't take the time to enjoy any of the moments.
But the night, the peaceful night. As I write these words I know that the phone is not going to ring, the doorbell will not chime and Lauren is sleeping with the visions of sugarplums dancing in her head. Okay, that sounds cheesy but it is Christmastime and I do live on Sugarplum Road so I just thought that would be a cute addition!! Just go along with it!
I am sitting comfortably in my computer chair, the heater at my feet and it as if I feel the arms of God wrapping around my body and soul and for a moment in time, it is just God and I sitting here as I peck away.
Oh believe me, I have had the terror of the night. The times when I felt like life was closing in on me, the times when I wonderd why I had done some of the hidden - not to be brought out of the closet - things that I had done. Those terror brought me closer to the One who gives me peace and the One who sits with me and comforts me in the dark.
Right now it is just He and I, sitting here in the dark, talking about life and the path that He has me on. And there is comfort in the dark.
It is time to shut down the computer, feel the comfort of the warmth of the black blanket that covers me and protects me, and doze in the arms of knowing that I am right where I am supposed to be right now. Zzzzzzz!

The Gift of Girlfriends!

Community...connection. That is what the world is all about. It is not about stuff...
On Friday night I entertained a house full of speakers in my home. It was an evening of getting to know each others hearts and sharing stories of each others lives...with lots of food and laughs filling in the gaps.
What a joy to see the human side of people, the 'real side', the part that is not concerned about making money, but is concerned about making a difference.
Then the next evening the house filled up with girlfriends. Oh, the sound of fun and laughter and love. I can only imagine how Jesus must have been smiling down on my house last night.
From the first girlfriends, Gina and Tammy, who came early to help get ready; to the two girls that came into the house, made a name tag and grabbed hugs and great conversation before anyone realized that they were at the wrong party!!
But the evening was so much more than anything I can write down on paper.
It is common knowledge that when girls gather there is jealousy, insecurity and judgement. There was the obvious absence of that from the minute the first guest walked through the door.
Everyone wanted to know each other and celebrate their stories. Most girls had never met each other, but had heard about the other from stories I have shared. And they came to the house ready to share, laugh, and love. And there was not a shortage of any of these.
I marveled at the ease in which each person conversed with the person standing in the food line next to them, the ease in which the women grabbed each other for a hug or laughed at the fun of the Santa hats and red clown noses.
Oh, it didn't stop there. There was the costume jewelry game and the music by Teresa.
And the love. And the greatest of these was love.
We celebrated Christmas, the birth of the baby. He was ever so present in my house this weekend.
What a gift he is to us...happy birthday Jesus! Thank you for being at your own party...we gave you your gift - the gift of love! We gave you back the gift of you...thank you!

It's About People

I was in the grocery store and the mall yesterday. As I prepared for two parties at my house this next weekend I stood back and watched the harried shoppers rushing around.
I felt sad as I watched people being treated like machines, not human beings.

What is Christmas all about?
The wrapping paper?
The presents?
The food?
The songs?

Or, is it about the people? The people made in His image?
That little baby that lay wrapped in the warmth of the nearby hay, the baby that cried so we wouldn't have to, the baby that was born so we could live...now THAT is Christmas.

The food, the presents, the music...should all be used to enhance the gifts that we were already given...they should not be THE gift.

Pause a minute. As you rush through the grocery store, as you give unforgiving looks to the mother whose baby is tired and whining, honk at the car that pulled into the parking space that you were so impatiently waiting for...is that really the true meaning of Christmas?

Or is it the time you took to talk to the elderly person that is struggling to walk through the door? Is it the meal you brought to the person without a permanent address in your town? Is it the door you opened at the mall and the hand you laid on a stranger's arm to remind them that someone cares?

That baby that was born in the hay...let's step back and imitate the life He lived, the walk He walked and let's be a reminder to those who forgot the true meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas, child of the Child!